Questions to ponder
07-04-2010, 10:06 AM
#1
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged,models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail ?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys it?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged,models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail ?
17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE
20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys it?
07-04-2010, 10:19 AM
#2
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: PROFESSIONAL Longarm Quilter NW Indiana
Posts: 3,400
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Ok #14 made me laugh...wonder who I know that bald and I can ask? Hmmmm....anyone out there know someone?
Ok #14 made me laugh...wonder who I know that bald and I can ask? Hmmmm....anyone out there know someone?
07-04-2010, 11:25 AM
#4
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 3,672
About #17: My daughter was 8 and shut the middle finger of her right hand in a door, pinched off the tip right throught the bone a very small flap of skin kept it on! We got her treated and an appt the next day for the orthodedic surgeon. This very funny, ancient (about 80 year old) doctor, took one look at her and said "She is going to need this finger for driving, we will have to save it"! The doc and I both laughed, DD did not get the joke.
It healed like new, but I have not seen her use it. By the way, all they did was bandage and tape the wound, not even a stitch, ah youth. Good thing they heal quick.
It healed like new, but I have not seen her use it. By the way, all they did was bandage and tape the wound, not even a stitch, ah youth. Good thing they heal quick.
07-04-2010, 12:19 PM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,536
Originally Posted by Luv Quilts and Cats
I saw on a sign, "Why does your nose run and your feet smell?" Thought that was hilarious.
I am still trying to figure out why I lose hair just about everyplace on my body, but grow it on my chin and face - and lately my ELBOWS!! Now HOW GROSS IS THAT?????????
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