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Thread: When People Ask For Hand Outs and Donations

  1. #1
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    I don't want to sound like a witch here but how do you know people are being honest when they ask for hand outs or donations because they can't afford it, etc? I have always wondered about this when you can't actually see them and their situation. I'm always willing to help someone in need when I can see whats going on with my own eyes but online how can you be sure your not being snookered? I'm not pointing my finger at anybody on here. We also have a local forum in our town and people ask for hand outs on there too. Please don't hit me! I'll cry. :lol:

  2. #2
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    For me I watch and listen and see how long they have been a member. Nothing is fool proof. But if I see a new member always hinting around or asking , I shy away from that. Others have been here awhile and you know more about their background.

    Some ask, ask, ask and never acknowledge that they have received anything publicly , like they don't want you to know how much they have already received.

    Others post as soon as they receive something to say THANK YOU .

    It is a trust thing and you just hope for honesty.

  3. #3
    Super Member redquilter's Avatar
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    I hear you and I've wondered that myself. That said, I do try and help out when I can and if I'm being "snookered", so be it. I think (hope) most people are honest and if they aren't, the guilt is on them. I've done the right thing and can live easily with myself knowing that. I've said before that the thing that bothers me is someone who comes on here the first or second time and starts asking for things and then we never hear from them again. I'm wary of that now. I also don't like it when people never bother to email and say the package arrived. You know who you are! In both these instances, I KNOW I've been "snookered". Once a fool, shame on them. Twice a fool, shame on me!

  4. #4
    Super Member Maggiesmom's Avatar
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    I guess you really don't know. You just have to assume they are. I really don't mind sharing what I have and I guess they have to deal with their own conscience if they are not being honest.

  5. #5
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    I just hope they are being honest.
    Marsye, where did donkey go? I love him.

  6. #6
    Senior Member jamh's Avatar
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    Well for me when I help someone with out knowing there situation, I say a prayer and give it to them in GODs name! So I dont care if I was "used" and I try to never give money if they say what they want or need I try to give that!!

  7. #7
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    I guess I pretty much believe anyone, maybe I am too trusting...but with the economy the way it is, I know alot are suffering. And when you dont have money, what do you buy first...food or fabric. I just doubt anyonewith alot of money isgoing to ask for fabric.
    LOL, I could be wrong, but I just try to have faith in people, ya know?

  8. #8
    a regular here hazeljane's Avatar
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    I have been approached here recently from someone I had no contact with or connection in any thread that I could find, asking for fabric. It kind of turned me off.

    However, I also responded to an offer for a trade and had a couple of people contact me offering to buy or barter fabric with me, to build their stashes. I have no problem with that. I sent one lady a whole bunch of strips and bits, and she has responded both with photos and emails to me, and on the board. I didn't charge her anything and it was a joy. Another person here I know is going through a tough time and I sent a care package. Again, it's just paying it forward.

    I'm kind of with jamh on this- if I have a bad feeling, I don't participate. If I send stuff, I only worry about my own motives, and let go of the other person's. If I get used occasionally, but help honest people along the way, that's fine with me.

    I used to live near a rough section of Phoenix/Glendale, AZ, with lots of panhandling in the grocery store lot. I got into the habit of buying extra beans, rice, and a couple of boxes of mac and cheese. If you tell me you want to feed your kids, I'll give you food- not money for drugs.

    I only have to worry about my actions. I believe in the long run, the universe settles the score.

  9. #9
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    I don't see how people here are being dishonest. They want something, and they are asking for it. You give or you don't. If there are strings on your gifts, maybe you shouldn't give.

  10. #10
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    I love to help others all that I can, I figure if they are being dishonest then that is on them. I had asked for help with sports fabric once and I received so much I had to start turning ppl down cause I didn't want to seem greedy. What ever I had left over I sent to another quilter that was in need of the same thing. That being said I prefer to come across the person and not receive a PM asking for help especially when they are brand new to the QB and know they can't post in the classifieds until they are regular members. I always try to let ppl know where my fabric comes from so that I don't waste my time. I could go on forever but I will stop.

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