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Thread: WHY PARENTS DRINK

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    Why Parents Drink

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
    Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

    With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
    with trembling hands and read the letter.


    Dear Dad:

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

    I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

    But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

    Stacy said that we will be very happy.

    She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
    We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

    In the meantime we will p ray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
    Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

    Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

    Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
    get to know your grandchildren.


    Love, Your Son John


    PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.


    I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.


    I love you.


    Call me when it's safe to come home.

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  2. #2
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: sounds like what one of my kids would have pulled :lol: :lol: :lol:

  3. #3
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    i would have hung him by the thumbs as soon as they released me from the hospital after my heart attack!

  4. #4
    Super Member henryparrish76's Avatar
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    Wow! ROFL

  5. #5
    Super Member Quilting Aggi's Avatar
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    LMAO!!!! I love it!!! meanwhile I would kill poor Johnny when he got home from Tommy's if he was my son!!!

  6. #6
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    Cute, but scary.

  7. #7
    Senior Member QuiltMania's Avatar
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    LOL! I wouldn't wait for Johnny to be getting home. I'd be driving over to Tommy's to kill him so the blood wouldn't get on my carpet.

  8. #8
    community benefactor Knot Sew's Avatar
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    I would have dropped to the floor dead..and never got to the part about report cards....hang him by his thumbs in the garage...and use his room for sewing...too much lol :wink:

  9. #9
    Power Poster Ninnie's Avatar
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    First I would have been scared, then angry, and then I would start working on a plan to get even :twisted: :twisted: maybe called the police on him or had someone call and tell him I had a heart attack, or moved all the furniture out of his room . Something to make him think twice about scaring me like that! :wink:

  10. #10
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    it would never be safe to come home.

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