I personally prefer a milleners needle to a short needle, and I only use good quality needles (John James, English, Bohin,French, etc, no cheap made in china junk). They are sharp and last longer, when I have tried to go with cheap they aren't cheap because I don't use them. If you check the points and shaft under a magnifying glass there is a difference.
I also prefer a fine needle, nothing less than a size 10 (and I have arthritis in my hands).
So my suggestion is that you try different sizes and brands to see what is comfortable for you and maybe you need to relax and enjoy the process more.