Does anyone's husband/wife complain about your buying fabric?
01-26-2010, 07:20 AM
#101
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by Alu_Rathbone
My mom complains... if that counts... i mean... she is the one paying so I guess she has a right... lol... and this jsut started too when I asked if i could get fabric... but she ended it with a we'll see... So I'm hoping to get money for my birthday so that I can pay for the fabric i need... plus other things... Plus, I'm hoping i get a job soon too! I have two habits i have to support... books and fabric!
If you don't work outside the home but your husband EXPECTS to come home to a clean house, a warm meal, etc, then he is assuming he has HIRED HELP. He does. He HIRED it by marrying a woman who is not working OUTSIDE the home. But she is working INSIDE the home.
And, if her compensation is the ability to spend $5 on fabric without getting permission, then he needs to realize how darned good he's got it. Permission by definition indicates subservience...
(All of this is of course assuming the finances of the home can support the purchase, etc...)
01-26-2010, 07:22 AM
#102
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Nashua, NH
Posts: 1,463
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by Alu_Rathbone
My mom complains... if that counts... i mean... she is the one paying so I guess she has a right... lol... and this jsut started too when I asked if i could get fabric... but she ended it with a we'll see... So I'm hoping to get money for my birthday so that I can pay for the fabric i need... plus other things... Plus, I'm hoping i get a job soon too! I have two habits i have to support... books and fabric!
If you don't work outside the home but your husband EXPECTS to come home to a clean house, a warm meal, etc, then he is assuming he has HIRED HELP. He does. He HIRED it by marrying a woman who is not working OUTSIDE the home. But she is working INSIDE the home.
And, if her compensation is the ability to spend $5 on fabric without getting permission, then he needs to realize how darned good he's got it. Permission by definition indicates subservience...
(All of this is of course assuming the finances of the home can support the purchase, etc...)
01-26-2010, 07:22 AM
#103
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by QBeth
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
QBeth, this is a bit familiar to me....my DH's first wife believed he should be working ALL the time, because his union job 'used to be' (back when HER parents were young) the best thing out there. She thought NOTHING of expecting him to work 16 hours a day all week.
And she F#%# 'd his credit beyond belief.
He now has a reasonable credit rating, a far better understanding of financial goals over and above 'it's only another $13 a month...I can handle $13 a month' (his rationale for any purchase)
AND he buys cars. (USED, thank the lord ) And then as I call it, he has to decorate them...I don't ASK how much the new wheels (you GOT new wheels? What did the old ones look like?) cost, because I would hyperventilate.
I don't discuss how much my fabric costs. He doesn't notice its addition into the already overcrowded conditions of my studio. It works.
And, although he doesn't cook MUCH, he does the dishes with some regularity. And laundry. No vacuuming unless I threaten.....
And she F#%# 'd his credit beyond belief.
He now has a reasonable credit rating, a far better understanding of financial goals over and above 'it's only another $13 a month...I can handle $13 a month' (his rationale for any purchase)
AND he buys cars. (USED, thank the lord ) And then as I call it, he has to decorate them...I don't ASK how much the new wheels (you GOT new wheels? What did the old ones look like?) cost, because I would hyperventilate.
I don't discuss how much my fabric costs. He doesn't notice its addition into the already overcrowded conditions of my studio. It works.
And, although he doesn't cook MUCH, he does the dishes with some regularity. And laundry. No vacuuming unless I threaten.....
As long as my guy meets his financial obligation to me (we're living together, he pays me a fixed amount each month), I don't care how he spends his money as long as he doesn't go into debt. I'm not exactly his watchdog, so to speak, but he knows that he has to rebuild his credit score before I'll even think of marrying him (he's asked, I said no).
He is definitely a keeper! We'd been dating only five months when I had to have major surgery. He stayed right by me, taking incredible care of me. I'd never had that before, even from my own family. In addition to being one of the most caring people I've ever met, he cooks, does his own laundry, handles the dishwasher and rubbish, and puts gas in my car without me asking (wish he didn't, he needs to save). On the down side, we both agree he's a professional slob but we've made peace with it (i.e., he hits my slob quota, I huff & puff, and he starts picking things up :-) ). I know I'm an incredibly lucky lady to have him in my life!
Glad you found someone so wonderful to you~~~
01-26-2010, 07:33 AM
#104
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Norway
Posts: 1,509
So many stories to be told. I love reading about everyone's life and challenges. My husband actually encourages me to sew and purchase whatever is needed. We each have our hobbies/interests and as long as we each are moderate in our pursuits, life is good. As years go by, hobbies become increasingly more important for quality of life. I am on SS Disability and he will retire eventually, so we know how precious it is to be able to get up in the morning and have something meaningful and creative to occupy your mind and time.
01-26-2010, 07:35 AM
#105
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Stockton, IL
Posts: 85
To all the ladies whose husbands "encourage" them: omg! Congradulations on a keeper(well, they probably are keepers even if they dontor we wouldnt have married them) but i have to tell you about the last time i went to JoAnns.
I brought my husband with me. Now, normally he's kinda impatient but will look around at the clearance stuff while i pick out what I want. However, this last time, i went to buy JUST binding and some matching thread for my baby blanket i am making. That's it. Unknown to me, my husband followed me, and what i needed was right by the baby novelty fabrics.
here we go! he brought me a bolt (while i am trying to compare and decide) and asks, can we use this for the back? I tell him no, it doesnt match, and remind him of what i am doing. So he comes back a few minutes later with another bolt, all excited! "how bout this one" by now i am kinda amused...and he does seem excited, but i have to remind him once again that it wont go with what i am purchasing...i'm kinda picky. oh that man. i love him dearly....he finally found one i could work with, just not "quite right"..now mind you, i already had the backing, but i occured to me with all his bouncing around (we spent 1/2 hour just looking at the baby stuff..well, he did, all excited and wanting about half of them), that he reall wanted to help in some way.
so i helped him choose an appropriate fabric for the batting. I suggested that he could get a few other yards of different stuff and do his own but he wasnt interested in that, lol. just the fabric. i literally had to drag him away from the baby stuff so i could pay. and of course, everyone in there has now noticed my bouncy husband and me getting exasperated, and of course laughing about it.
husbands, what would we do without them? lol I really appreciate the fact that he wants to be part of it but really? i dont need tons of baby fabric! lol
I brought my husband with me. Now, normally he's kinda impatient but will look around at the clearance stuff while i pick out what I want. However, this last time, i went to buy JUST binding and some matching thread for my baby blanket i am making. That's it. Unknown to me, my husband followed me, and what i needed was right by the baby novelty fabrics.
here we go! he brought me a bolt (while i am trying to compare and decide) and asks, can we use this for the back? I tell him no, it doesnt match, and remind him of what i am doing. So he comes back a few minutes later with another bolt, all excited! "how bout this one" by now i am kinda amused...and he does seem excited, but i have to remind him once again that it wont go with what i am purchasing...i'm kinda picky. oh that man. i love him dearly....he finally found one i could work with, just not "quite right"..now mind you, i already had the backing, but i occured to me with all his bouncing around (we spent 1/2 hour just looking at the baby stuff..well, he did, all excited and wanting about half of them), that he reall wanted to help in some way.
so i helped him choose an appropriate fabric for the batting. I suggested that he could get a few other yards of different stuff and do his own but he wasnt interested in that, lol. just the fabric. i literally had to drag him away from the baby stuff so i could pay. and of course, everyone in there has now noticed my bouncy husband and me getting exasperated, and of course laughing about it.
husbands, what would we do without them? lol I really appreciate the fact that he wants to be part of it but really? i dont need tons of baby fabric! lol
01-26-2010, 07:37 AM
#106
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: southern Ca
Posts: 1,154
Originally Posted by AbbyQuilts
Originally Posted by nellebelles
For those of you who have complaining spouses, maybe if you make him/her a quilt of their own, showcasing a hobby or something special they like, it might change the way they think about your hobby... Worth a try, maybe? ;-)
Maybe if I get him a hobby that he has to spend money on he would lighten up but ohh well what can I say I picked him :P
There could be lots of things going on there.... if a few dollars cause a problem. Communication is always good.. if you enjoy this hobby you will be happier being able to do it and if you are happier and not feeling put into a box by his wishes he also will be happier ;). It could be a win win for everyone;)
I donate most of my work.. donating is tax deductable. :):)
I try to spend time with him when he is here and on weekends if he is busy or wanting to do other things he enjoys I am sewing at that time. That works out well:) but I always check back and touch base.. .come down have lunch with him... . I like my man ;)>. ...and want not to neglect him. During the week when he is at work I can sew all day if i so wish. I think it is about balance for everyone. as we can get obsessed with this fabulous hobby ! Just my humble opinion ;)>>
01-26-2010, 07:39 AM
#107
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: southern Ca
Posts: 1,154
Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk
Not I, as a matter of fact my husband helps me pick out fabrics to work with.
01-26-2010, 07:41 AM
#108
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 725
Originally Posted by sylslight
To all the ladies whose husbands "encourage" them: omg! Congradulations on a keeper(well, they probably are keepers even if they dontor we wouldnt have married them) but i have to tell you about the last time i went to JoAnns.
I brought my husband with me. Now, normally he's kinda impatient but will look around at the clearance stuff while i pick out what I want. However, this last time, i went to buy JUST binding and some matching thread for my baby blanket i am making. That's it. Unknown to me, my husband followed me, and what i needed was right by the baby novelty fabrics.
here we go! he brought me a bolt (while i am trying to compare and decide) and asks, can we use this for the back? I tell him no, it doesnt match, and remind him of what i am doing. So he comes back a few minutes later with another bolt, all excited! "how bout this one" by now i am kinda amused...and he does seem excited, but i have to remind him once again that it wont go with what i am purchasing...i'm kinda picky. oh that man. i love him dearly....he finally found one i could work with, just not "quite right"..now mind you, i already had the backing, but i occured to me with all his bouncing around (we spent 1/2 hour just looking at the baby stuff..well, he did, all excited and wanting about half of them), that he reall wanted to help in some way.
so i helped him choose an appropriate fabric for the batting. I suggested that he could get a few other yards of different stuff and do his own but he wasnt interested in that, lol. just the fabric. i literally had to drag him away from the baby stuff so i could pay. and of course, everyone in there has now noticed my bouncy husband and me getting exasperated, and of course laughing about it.
husbands, what would we do without them? lol I really appreciate the fact that he wants to be part of it but really? i dont need tons of baby fabric! lol
I brought my husband with me. Now, normally he's kinda impatient but will look around at the clearance stuff while i pick out what I want. However, this last time, i went to buy JUST binding and some matching thread for my baby blanket i am making. That's it. Unknown to me, my husband followed me, and what i needed was right by the baby novelty fabrics.
here we go! he brought me a bolt (while i am trying to compare and decide) and asks, can we use this for the back? I tell him no, it doesnt match, and remind him of what i am doing. So he comes back a few minutes later with another bolt, all excited! "how bout this one" by now i am kinda amused...and he does seem excited, but i have to remind him once again that it wont go with what i am purchasing...i'm kinda picky. oh that man. i love him dearly....he finally found one i could work with, just not "quite right"..now mind you, i already had the backing, but i occured to me with all his bouncing around (we spent 1/2 hour just looking at the baby stuff..well, he did, all excited and wanting about half of them), that he reall wanted to help in some way.
so i helped him choose an appropriate fabric for the batting. I suggested that he could get a few other yards of different stuff and do his own but he wasnt interested in that, lol. just the fabric. i literally had to drag him away from the baby stuff so i could pay. and of course, everyone in there has now noticed my bouncy husband and me getting exasperated, and of course laughing about it.
husbands, what would we do without them? lol I really appreciate the fact that he wants to be part of it but really? i dont need tons of baby fabric! lol
01-26-2010, 07:42 AM
#109
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: At the beach, drinking a mojito
Posts: 1,743
Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
Originally Posted by Alu_Rathbone
My mom complains... if that counts... i mean... she is the one paying so I guess she has a right... lol... and this jsut started too when I asked if i could get fabric... but she ended it with a we'll see... So I'm hoping to get money for my birthday so that I can pay for the fabric i need... plus other things... Plus, I'm hoping i get a job soon too! I have two habits i have to support... books and fabric!
If you don't work outside the home but your husband EXPECTS to come home to a clean house, a warm meal, etc, then he is assuming he has HIRED HELP. He does. He HIRED it by marrying a woman who is not working OUTSIDE the home. But she is working INSIDE the home.
And, if her compensation is the ability to spend $5 on fabric without getting permission, then he needs to realize how darned good he's got it. Permission by definition indicates subservience...
(All of this is of course assuming the finances of the home can support the purchase, etc...)
(sorry... I just had to explain why mom is being the way she is... lol... but you are right!!!)
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