How to thread a traditional sewing needle.
by Pam Turner
Search through that package of umpteen assorted sized needles you
have had since high school to find the last needle with an eye big
enough you can see it.
Carefully cut the end of the thread at just the right angle to make it thin
enough to go through the needle's eye.
After three tries, put a quarter in the swear jar and stick the end of the
thread into your mouth. Twist the fraying ends with your tongue.
Explain to your three year old, that, no you are not "tasting" the thread and
he should not eat thread either.
Stab the wet end of the limp thread again at the hole that seems to
wiggle when you look at it
Pinch the end of the thread to form a sharp point and aim. Suck on it
again. When that fails and you think you will try to suck on the eye of the
needle instead of the thread, decide otherwise because your child is still
Dig through your sewing box again to find the needle threading tool you
know you bought last year. Hand over the two dimes and a nickel you find
in the box to your son to add the swear jar.
Once you find the threading tool, unbend the wire. Aim the diamond
shaped wire toward the hole you cannot see. When you somehow get
the threader into the eye, take the thread, now drooping from your son's
Explain to him that white thread does not taste any different than colored
thread so he doesn't need to get you another color to try.
Put the soggy thread into the diamond shaped wire and pull the needle
threader back out and, wonders of wonders, the needle is threaded.
After a short celebration dance with your son, untwisting all the purple
and green thread he has managed to wrap around his tummy, you sit
down to sew that button back onto your favorite shirt.
Glancing at the clock, you realize you are late for work and toss the shirt
back into the bulging pile of clothing in need of mending.
Put the now threaded needle through the top of the kitchen curtain where
you hope you will remember you put it and you son can't reach it. Toss
the button back into the junk drawer .
Stuff a dollar bill into the swear jar then drop your child off at daycare.
Explain to the daycare provider that his vocabulary skills may have
increased and that she might want to hide her sewing box.