Thread: I lied to my husband

Chasing Hawk wrote: Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it.
If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body...then only left-handed people are in their right minds. -- Anonymous

I think you and I might be sisters. LOL

When I was a child, I was markedly ambidextrous but now I find myself being more and more left handed. I used to be so flexible, that I could use either hand without even thinking twice, but gradually the left hand took over. At age four (when my daddy was stationed at the San Diego, CA naval base), I was used as a demo for one of the colleges there because I what what is known as a mirror writer. I wrote from left to right but people could only read it in a mirror. My daddy and mother were both teachers by profession, so that is probably why the college knew about me.

Remember that most hobbies require good tools to produce good results. Point out that inferior products for home improvement produce lousy results....

Originally Posted by JNCT14

Remember that most hobbies require good tools to produce good results. Point out that inferior products for home improvement produce lousy results....

That seems like a petty argument to justify one's lie.

Will you be able to use it and enjoy it knowing you lied to him about it ? Why was hubby so against you getting one ?

Originally Posted by Neesie

I wouldn't have lied, in the first place, since I don't believe in spousal allowances. If I want to buy something, I have the sense to know whether or not we can afford it; my dh feels the same way. However, since you did lie about it, I'd weigh my options very carefully. How much harm will it do now, to tell him you lied? Forget about "clearing your conscience" and think how it will affect his feelings and your relationship. Will he forgive and forget . . . or will it cause him to have trouble trusting you, in the future?

Another question - Is there a way he'll find out about your lie, if you don't confess? If he's going to find out, it's better coming from you. If not, I'd keep quiet and try to forgive myself for fibbing.

He'll never find out about it because it came out of my checking account. I told him it was $29 cheaper than it actually was. I looked it up online on ebay and I paid $169. I've been talking to him about the Go Baby and he thought it was too much because of having to buy all the dies and mats so when I saw this on ebay, I went and bought it with my own money. But I thought he wouldn't appreciate that it was so much less than a Go Baby with accessories, so I did lie and tell him I paid $140. I think I will keep my trap shut and not spend any more money on quilting for a while so the guilt will subside. I usually spend $200 a month on fabric and gismos every month, but I had already spent that and this was on top of it. But I am going to keep my mouth shut because I agree that it will do more harm to tell him I was dishonest.

Originally Posted by jcrow

He'll never find out about it because it came out of my checking account. I told him it was $29 cheaper than it actually was. I looked it up online on ebay and I paid $169. I've been talking to him about the Go Baby and he thought it was too much because of having to buy all the dies and mats so when I saw this on ebay, I went and bought it with my own money. But I thought he wouldn't appreciate that it was so much less than a Go Baby with accessories, so I did lie and tell him I paid $140. I think I will keep my trap shut and not spend any more money on quilting for a while so the guilt will subside. I usually spend $200 a month on fabric and gismos every month, but I had already spent that and this was on top of it. But I am going to keep my mouth shut because I agree that it will do more harm to tell him I was dishonest.

Regardless of where the money came from......yours, his or a joint account. You feel pangs of guilt over the deception.

And to keep quiet will only fester and come out in other ways.

But only you know your marriage, we don't so good luck and hope all ends well.

Originally Posted by Neesie

I'd weigh my options very carefully. How much harm will it do now, to tell him you lied? Forget about "clearing your conscience" and think how it will affect his feelings and your relationship. Will he forgive and forget . . . or will it cause him to have trouble trusting you, in the future?

Another question - Is there a way he'll find out about your lie, if you don't confess? If he's going to find out, it's better coming from you. If not, I'd keep quiet and try to forgive myself for fibbing.

Neesie's advice is different from the "confess all" advice you will usually get. But it is very practical advice and it puts your husband's feelings and your relationship at the forefront of your concern...So it is really good advice, as long as you don't fib or lie to him anymore.

I told a big lie to my husband once too. I told him the new cat was a stray, when in reality I lured it from the road side bushes and brought it home. That whopper bothered me for years. (And no... i am not a crazy cat lady )