I have arthritis in my hands and some days is very painful and sensitive. It hurts alot to have someone grab a hand. How do you polietly refuse to shake someones hand that is offered without looking like I am nuts or stuck up?

on bad days wear gloves and just tell them you would love t shake hands but the arthritis prevents me from doing so.

Looking forward to this answer? My husband is in business and hand shakes are the norm. Some guys like to really give the death grip shake. He doesn't want to sound like an old wuss but says it hurts like hell.

exactly

Just tell them that today your arthritis is hurting alot and please forgive me for not shaking hands..I think that most people would understand

That is a hard one. I suffer from a rare autoimmune disease that has given me lots of problems that are not necessarily visible to the casual viewer. Perhaps when the pain is at it's worst you could wear gloves. Make them a bright color like red so they can't help but notice. It might make people reluctant to grab as quickly.
I wear a hat almost everywhere but my own home as sunlight and florescent light may could increase my symptoms. I volunteer with the quilters at our local Senior Center. One of the ladies after months finally got bold enough to ask me if I was bald under my hat. You might try wearing a small sign with a hand that says "please don't touch" or just "ouch". If the person is worth knowing they should be more than willing to greet you in another way. Over the last ten years my hats have been a subject of many a lively discussion. I get lots of compliments and lots of questions. It gives me an opportunity to educate others about my disease or them an opportunity to tap that compassion that makes us human.
Unfortunately there are a lot of "dumb clods" in this world. One of our quilters is 90 and has a frozen shoulder. This one guy who thinks he is God's gift to the females of our world always gives her a big hug every time he sees her. Having had a frozen shoulder several years ago I can imagine how she feels. She is also thirty years my senior and very frail. I may have to slap some sense into him the next time he does it in front of me.

I read in a presidential biography book a trick they use in a reception line: extend your left hand and keep a finger or thumb tucked in your palm.

I have RA in my hands and I just make sure that only the tips of my fingers get grabbed when shaking hands. Bend at the nuckles with your fingers at a 90 degree or so. You thumb will automaticly stop them from grabbing your whole hand. It gets easier as you go. Good Luck and lots of hugs.

I wish we could do away with the custom of hand shaking.

Not only for the reasons listed above, but also it's a quick way to spread disease.

I remember crying out in pain one time when a co-worker I hadn't seen in a while rushed up to me and energeticly shook my hand. I was in my early 40's then and hadn't had any problems. I wasn't expecting the hand shake so my hand was not "flat" and he crushed my hand. It hurt so bad and he felt bad when I cried out in pain.

And I hope people leave the bear hugs with the bears. A gentle hug is a lot better.

A gentleman at church that can't shake because the meds he is on makes it easy for him to get germs makes a fist and just gently touches his hand to anothers fist.
And he just politely says to new people I can't shake the normal way but I do this... and explains.