"To a Quilting Maven"
Found this today and thought it was appropriate to repost!
It's a parody written by Julie Scribner from Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" Here you go..
To A Quilt Maven
Once upon a midnight dreary, while you quilted, weak and weary,
Over many a gift you hoped to give to those that you adore,
While you nodded, dropping stitches, cursing at your mitered glitches,
Small and even, in the ditches, growing sleepy, more and more.
"One more side to bind," you muttered, spilling straight pins on the floor;
"Only this, and nothing more"
Ah, distinctly, you remember, all the stress of each December
As you strive to finally render every handmade gift before
Deadlines threaten the objective, of your self-made gift directive
While withholding harsh invective for the burden that you bore,
Just a dozen quilted pillows, and a bag for Aunt Lenore"
One week left, and nothing more.
Oh, brave quilter, keep on sewing! Your obsession may be growing.
And your family, tantrums throwing, since your housework is no more.
Though the quilting bug has clawed you, for your efforts we applaud you
And we wish to thank and laud you, and those quilters gone before
For your wonderful creations, future heirlooms, bed decor:
Priceless now, forever more.
Though your tired hands are twitching, still your stitching, STILL YOU'RE STITCHING
While the yuletide parties loom and other duties you ignore;
Yet the burning question lingers, pulsing through your care-worn fingers,
Pushing past the carol singers, knocking on your psyche's door:
Should you quit the quilting habit? Lose the stress that you abhor?
Quoth the Maven, "Nevermore!"
Wonderful - I love parodies of all kinds. Thanks for sharing.
I used to be like that. No more!!
freakin hilarious the raven is my absolute favorite poem, I just adored reading this