A quilt for a grieving person

**GiddyUpGo** · 09-07-2015, 05:16 PM

My friend's 16-year-old son was in a terrible car accident a couple of weeks ago. While he was in the hospital "blue hearts" became a sort of community symbol for his recovery. I went down to the fabric store and purchased materials to make a blue hearts quilt for him, thinking he would be in the hospital for a long time and would like to have something other than scratchy hospital blankets in his bed.

Sadly, only a couple of days after the accident he passed away. His family is obviously devastated. I still want to make the quilt to give to his mother but I don't know if blue hearts are still the right choice, since they were a symbol of a recovery that didn't happen.

Has anyone ever made a quilt for such a sad occasion, and if so any ideas on patterns?

**PenniF** · 09-07-2015, 05:33 PM

I think the answer is to look into your own heart - We barely know what is the right thing to SAY in times like this, let alone what to do. Perhaps use the blues, but choose a different pattern?? They (and you) have my deepest condolences.

**joe'smom** · 09-07-2015, 05:36 PM

I think your instinct is correct, that the blue hearts wouldn't be appropriate now. I think if you give yourself some time, an inspiration will come to you.

**GingerK** · 09-07-2015, 06:45 PM

I have to say that 'blue hearts' might just be perfect. Just because that rallying cry to the community did not result in this poor child's recovery, does not mean that it could not be a source of comfort as well as remembrance for his family. You know that your heart will lead you. Condolences to the family and community.

**quiltingcandy** · 09-07-2015, 06:46 PM

Maybe you could offer to use his t-shirts to make them a quilt?

**maryb119** · 09-07-2015, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by quiltingcandy

Maybe you could offer to use his t-shirts to make them a quilt?

I was going to suggest this. I am working on a quilt using my brother's clothes for his family. My brother passed away in March and my dad in April. Sewing this quilt has helped me cope with so much, so close together. I am sorry for you loss.

**Cybrarian** · 09-07-2015, 07:05 PM

We're blue hearts chosen because blue was a favorite color of his? If so I agree with the suggestion of using the blue fabrics, but not the hearts. If you feel you can share with your friend either in conversation or with an accompanying card I would share how I thought about and prayed for her and her family (if prayer is a part of your and your friend's lives) and how you focused on things you loved and admired about her son as you made the quilt-I'm sure she will remember your words as she wraps herself in the symbol of your care, support and concern for her. I am so sorry for your friend's loss, you are a thoughtful and supportive friend.

**zozee** · 09-07-2015, 07:13 PM

What a heartache beyond words for that family. I echo the thoughts that blue would be fine, but the hearts might or might not be well-received. Personally I would not suggest a T-shirt quilt this early on. They may need to leave things just as they are for a while..his room, his clothes, everything while in the early stages of shock and grief. The thought of cutting them up might be too harsh right now, even though the end result could eventually be quite a keepsake. That's my initial, gut feeling about the quilt plans.

**patski** · 09-07-2015, 07:24 PM

I lost my son in an accident and I think the quilt will give comfort to his mom

**DonnaPBradshaw** · 09-07-2015, 07:31 PM

I think anything you decide will help, because it comes from your heart! Not only will the making of the quilt heal the heart but giving the finished quilt will also give the comfort which is needed.

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