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Thread: Quite honestly a matter of tact...

  1. #21
    bj
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    Super Member bj's Avatar
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    One thing I've found is a good door opener for discussion is..."What do you think about it? Is there something you wish you'd done differently? What is your goal for your next project?" These questions got me into some very constructive teacher/student conferences. I would then let them ask me questions so I could help them clear up any lingering doubts or worries. I remember when my mom was trying to teach me to crochet (I finally did get it with her help) she would say what I lacked in skill I made up for in enthusiasm. I was excited about the process and thrilled that she took the time to teach me (I think I was 8 or 9 at the time).

  2. #22
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    In general, I find that I appreciate all the hard work that has gone into a quilt ..no matter what it looks like. With that understanding, I find it hard not to find good things about others quilts. True, I've seen some that I didn't care for the pattern...or the color...or whatever, but THATS WHY THEY MAKE CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA!

    As for my own quilts...I have a pretty thick skin. I don't have anyone locally to critique my work so that I can learn and improve. I post here and hope that you will all be honest with me..that is if I ask you what you think :D :D

  3. #23
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    I guess from the small to the tall--quilts are made with heart. Everyone is a work in progress--and if there's no reason to cut them down--why do it? On here--if you don't like a quilt, or can't find something positive to say--just don't reply. But there's always someting I like.

    Hey--you haven't replied on my barn quilt post, have you?? (just kidding, Steve.) :wink:

  4. #24
    Steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bj
    One thing I've found is a good door opener for discussion is..."What do you think about it? Is there something you wish you'd done differently? What is your goal for your next project?" These questions got me into some very constructive teacher/student conferences. I would then let them ask me questions so I could help them clear up any lingering doubts or worries. I remember when my mom was trying to teach me to crochet (I finally did get it with her help) she would say what I lacked in skill I made up for in enthusiasm. I was excited about the process and thrilled that she took the time to teach me (I think I was 8 or 9 at the time).
    Excellent! I'll need remember that one "What do you think about it?" it should indeed open any discussion civilly.

  5. #25
    marieg's Avatar
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    I consider myself an acccomplished quilter, but I make mistakes. The first time I put a block up on another forum, the first or second response was you put it together wrong. I wasn't offended by the statement, someone said Oh! quilters call that a design opportunity, no it's a mistake. Did I change it, NO. My grand-mother taught me to quilt, sew and crochet, she was very critical and I needed to be precise with my sewing.
    As far as others I always say nice fabric, Wow! that was a lot of work. I f they say how do I do this better, I try to explain how to maybe do it different, try never to use the word better.
    Now my other hobby raising snakes, I am brutal with someone doing it in a manor that is ill advised. That is different there is a life involved even if it is a snake.

  6. #26
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    i don't worry about whether or not compliments i get are made because the other person doesn't want to hurt my feelings. by the time i finish something, i know every nook and cranny of it. i know where, how many, and how "bad" the mistakes are. therefore, i know before i show it which the situation will be. if i post something i know is hideous ... trust me ... i'm posting because i need the pity to make it through the rest of the day. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    i have barely scratched the surface of all the different types of quilts there are.

    i haven't tried every technique there is for the types of quilts i've made.

    i've never entered a quilt show, let alone won a prize.

    therefore, i don't feel qualified to criticize anybody else's work. i can find enough fault with my own to entertain myself for days on end. :lol:

    i'm with those who won't point out a flaw unless the maker asks me to. and they have to ask three times so i know the really want the truth. i'm also with those who start with a "this [whatever] is excellent", follow with a gentle mention of the [perceived] flaw", then another good thing.

    we're not doing anybody a favor if they WANT help and don't give it. but failure to encourage somebody to keep trying would be even worse. :shock:

  7. #27
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruth Camp
    Hmmmmmmmm I just started a new project and posted the start of it.......a lot of people admired the fabric........lol well either way I like it :roll: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
    if you're talking about that lucious beauty in blues and whites ... well ... anybody who doesn't like it needs their head examined. there's a whole lot more about that quilt to admire than just the fabric! :P

  8. #28
    lisae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    Quote Originally Posted by Ruth Camp
    Hmmmmmmmm I just started a new project and posted the start of it.......a lot of people admired the fabric........lol well either way I like it :roll: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
    if you're talking about that lucious beauty in blues and whites ... well ... anybody who doesn't like it needs their head examined. there's a whole lot more about that quilt to admire than just the fabric! :P
    I think people complimented the fabric because it was so wonderful...but it was Ruth who 1)recognized just how wonderful the fabric is and 2) came up with a very effective way to use it. Geeze, give yourself credit...:)

  9. #29
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    Maybe I need to clarify a little: I never met a fabric I didn't like and every quilt or block is time consuming. I don't feel like I'm brushing someone off when I say that. Ruth my CRS is bad today I don't remember blues, can't find it either.
    I guess in general I feel like we do this because we love it, we love what we do, we know all the problems in our quilt. I would rather have a pat on the back. It's sort of like the woman with a really tight dress asking hubby "do I look fat in this".
    I think worse then seeing quilts that needed more attention, I once had a woman call me saying her mother had died and she had some quilts she didn't know what she should do with. She made it sound like they were rags. I almost didn't go look at them. They were beautiful hand applique, hand quilted stunning quilts. I tried to talk her into keeping them. She asked why as if they were used toilet paper.
    I would rather give someone compliments then be like this daughter.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Lois-nounoe's Avatar
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    Right on Minda! I like to post pics of my quilts here because, even if someone thinks they aren't great, everyone knows the work and love that goes into each one we make.

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