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Thread: A Recent Study

  1. #1
    Suz
    Suz is offline
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    A Recent Study

    A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.

    Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women know as quilters. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, buy me, cut me and sew me. In order to overcome the so called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

    Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called QUILT FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is I've had it for awhile.

    ---------------------

    Just be aware of this dreadful disease.

  2. #2
    Power Poster mighty's Avatar
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    To late I"m infected!!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member grammy Dwynn's Avatar
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    Okay that explains why the clerk at my LQS is soooooo 'different'!
    "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." -Confucius

    https://picasaweb.google.com/home

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jennie and Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mighty View Post
    To late I"m infected!!!!
    Me too and that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Handcraftsbyjen's Avatar
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    Thats way too funny!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mickey1's Avatar
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    Thanks for a god laugh! I enjoyed it.

  7. #7
    Super Member Ruby the Quilter's Avatar
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    That explains my behavior- hopefully there isn't a cure for this!
    Quilting in the Desert

  8. #8
    Super Member Cybrarian's Avatar
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    See, it's not my fault! I knew there were things beyond my control...
    Come to Me and I will give you rest--Jesus.

  9. #9
    Super Member NikkiLu's Avatar
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    That is what surely happened to me on Sat. when I went to Hancocks of Paducah!!! I came out of there with a lot of fabric and a new pattern - none of which that I needed!!!
    Nikki in MO

  10. #10
    Super Member Latrinka's Avatar
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    Those Pheromones even radiate off of the computer screen to you! ie: online shopping!
    If a woman's work is never done....why start?

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