She who dies with the most wins! But what about after?
05-02-2013, 09:57 AM
#11
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Tampa, FL USA
Posts: 3,115
You have posted a topic dear to my heart. I have gone thru my mother's belongs recently - she sewed garments not quilts, but the thoughts you have expressed hit home.
I, personally, have 8.5 x 11 sheets of paper with notes on them that I keep in a stack and reuse. I have written on them what goes where and I get those pages out and put them in my sewing room every time my husband and I travel in a car on long vacations. You just never know.
My messages say things like (1) give this quilt to my sister-in-law, (2) offer these fabrics to my on-line quilting guild (includes the website and my password to post), (3) send these scraps in a flat rate box to xxx (my friend that makes scrappy quilts and crumb blocks - has her name and address included), and (4) these tops were made by our great-grandmother xxx - send to my cousin xxx in Town, USA, etc. It doesn't take long to distribute these notes (and some are inside the boxes and stay there permanently) but I'm sure they will be very useful.
I, personally, have 8.5 x 11 sheets of paper with notes on them that I keep in a stack and reuse. I have written on them what goes where and I get those pages out and put them in my sewing room every time my husband and I travel in a car on long vacations. You just never know.
My messages say things like (1) give this quilt to my sister-in-law, (2) offer these fabrics to my on-line quilting guild (includes the website and my password to post), (3) send these scraps in a flat rate box to xxx (my friend that makes scrappy quilts and crumb blocks - has her name and address included), and (4) these tops were made by our great-grandmother xxx - send to my cousin xxx in Town, USA, etc. It doesn't take long to distribute these notes (and some are inside the boxes and stay there permanently) but I'm sure they will be very useful.
05-02-2013, 02:07 PM
#13
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,395
So sorry for the loss of your friend. And thanks for the reminder that we all need to make sure someone knows our intentions.
When my in laws went into assisted living we all went through the things they were not taking to the small apartment and decided that rather than trying to do an estate sale we would distribute it among ourselves and anything none of us could use would go to Goodwill. Each of us got a sewing machine and various items she had made or been working on. I was able to figure out the mystery quilt she had started and take it to her but there were other blocks and bits and pieces that I have no idea what was going on with. At some point I will figure out something to do with them as they are not done in colors that I use most of the time. But somebody will come along wanting just those colors and there they will be, waiting for that person.
When my in laws went into assisted living we all went through the things they were not taking to the small apartment and decided that rather than trying to do an estate sale we would distribute it among ourselves and anything none of us could use would go to Goodwill. Each of us got a sewing machine and various items she had made or been working on. I was able to figure out the mystery quilt she had started and take it to her but there were other blocks and bits and pieces that I have no idea what was going on with. At some point I will figure out something to do with them as they are not done in colors that I use most of the time. But somebody will come along wanting just those colors and there they will be, waiting for that person.
05-02-2013, 02:58 PM
#14
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,198
Originally Posted by Hulalulu
We had a beloved quilter in our community pass on suddenly from a fall - she was a fabulous friend of the quilting community here, and generous to quilters making charity items. We will always miss her assistance and helpfulness. At her funeral each attendee received a yard of her stash -- rolled with a ribbon. Mine was incorporated into a set of placements donated to a charity for a fund raising event. It was her love and passion -- and a joy to pass that along in her memory.
I have already told my husband to let my sister and best friend do what they want with my stash and equipment, but my children and grandchildren (first) and any family members will get any and all quilts that are completed. My sister will get my Berninas (4) and my best friend will get my Singers (9 - 6 of which are FWs) and my Janome serger.
05-02-2013, 03:30 PM
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 314
Originally Posted by NikkiLu
So sorry for the your loss. I have gone through this very thing with my BFF - she had an entire room full of fabric, in bookcases on bolts, etc. She had a major stroke and then passed away. After several months of us visiting her DH (my husbands best friend) we went to see him one day and he said that he had spent the past two days burning all of her fabric, etc. I almost fainted - no kidding. I raced into her "room" and sure enough it was empty. But, he hadn't gotten around to emptying the big closet - it had her plactic totes full of fabric - maybe a dozen or so totes. I was able to "rescue" them - DH and I carrying them out to our car in a hurry - before he changed his mind and burned them too. I asked where her paper patterns and thread was and he said "gone". I did find her quilt books in a bookcase in another bedroom so took them home too. But the worst thing is that she had a sister who had three daughters and then she had a daughter in-law who had a young daughter. I am sure that one of them might have wanted some of the things in her sewing room. I offerred to have her sister to come to my house to go through what I brought home and he told me that he did not want the sister to have anything. I am still in shock about all of this. Besides that, the floor in my sewing room collapsed - due partly to the weight of all of my fabric - old floor though. So, I had to put all of her fabric in a storage room in my garage.
Kudos to you for getting some things to safety. I would still have the sister and daughter-in-law come over to pick through the totes you saved if you think they would appreciate it. Nothing your friend's husband can do about that now!
05-02-2013, 03:49 PM
#16
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,203
Different people deal with death in different ways. DMIL didn't sew much, so DFIL kept the sewing machine and supplies, but threw out all her clothes shortly after her death. I would never have done that. If he didn't want to see relatives wearing them, they could all have been donated to charity, and at least someone would benefit. And later for some collectibles, we were ordered over to the house to get this "crap" now if we wanted it or it was going in the trash.
05-02-2013, 04:01 PM
#18
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: South central Nebraska, US
Posts: 5,367
My sewing room is actually in my will "wish list". I have so much stuff that my hubby wanted to know what to do with it when I was gone. I asked him the same about his motorcycles and tools. It is all listed somewhere in our papers. We were trying to make things simple for each other and our kids. 
05-02-2013, 04:31 PM
#19
Power Poster
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,189
A very sad sad story. So sorry for the loss of your friend and fellow quilter. Thanks for the reminder that we all need to pre-plan and save our loved ones the heartache of trying to figure out what we would have wanted done with our personal possessions.
05-02-2013, 04:39 PM
#20
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: East Oklahoma - pining for Massachusetts
Posts: 10,477
Way ahead of you. I have kept a running list for years. It states the name of the quilt, how far the project is in its completion, the size, and who it is for. I also have taken photographs of every quilt, I have made, whether finished or not. When I am gone, my family will get them in a lottery style drawing. There are enough for each to get at least two.
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