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Thread: She who dies with the most wins! But what about after?

  1. #1
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    She who dies with the most wins! But what about after?

    Hi
    I would like to bring up a topic that I am sure we would all like to avoid. One of my coworkers and friends and an avid quilter recently died quite suddenly. She had acquired a huge stash of fabric over the years and now that stash, with her WIPs, UFOs and unquilted tops was headed for the dumpster. Her family had a very few days after her funeral to empty her home and disperse her belongings. Fortunately, several of her friends spoke to the family and the many many totes of fabric were saved for the present. Many of her projects became separated from the patterns, many of her intended receipients will never know that she was making them a quilt. Aside from a few of us who recognized what things went with what other things most of the stash would have been considered just scraps of fabric.

    It would have been wonderful to have found in each project, a list of what went with what, who it was intended for, what patterns were used. It would have been nice if there was a note saying she would have liked her stash to go to making hospice quilts, or donated to a local guild or who should benefit from her years of stash building!

    So I would like to propose to you all, that you take the time to make a list or include some sort of note with your projects that might just help the survivors when your time comes. Believe me, there has been plenty of angst on the part of her friends going through her stash. One person took many completed applique blocks and is making quilts for her sons and other members of her family, some of the fabric is going to a church group to make hospice quilts, some went to coworkers who quilt but there was a huge amount of fabric.

    My friend died too early, only 56, from ovarian cancer. She thought she had more time as we all do, she did put off doing some of the final arrangements as we all would in her shoes. I miss her. I would much rather be laughing with her than sorting through her stash trying to figure out what to do. So for the people you will leave behind, make some arrangements about your stash and your projects AND please label your quilts.

  2. #2
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
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    My condolences on the loss of your friend, sending you hugs. You are right that this is a topic that is difficult to talk about, but it is one we all should at least consider. Even if just to say, "when I die give _____ my stuff to disperse as she sees fit". I am currently trying to organize all my crafting and quilting supplies, and I think I will incorporate some of these ideas into my final setup.
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  3. #3
    Junior Member mimmy96's Avatar
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    I am going through some of what you have your in post. An elderly lady in my church passes away.. she was a major quilter. After her house sitting for agood while I asked about her quilt room and all her supplies...... long story short... I was told to go get everything I wanted, which was the whole room..... After getting it all home and going through it, there was probally at least 50 quilts that have been cut out but no patterns, notes, nothing. So I bought gallon size zip lock bags and started putting things I thought were the pieces to each on into a bag. but I understand what you mean. The people that "inheret" these items,we have no idea what the person cuting them out was thinking. and it is very hard to put things together. I feel your pain on that point...

    on the other.... I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend, she was still so very young!

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the condolences. It is hard to look at all this beautiful fabric while thinking if only, or what if, - some of the WIPs were from classes we had both gone to! Makes me want to get rid of the peripherals and concentrate on what brings joy!

  5. #5
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    Thank you for sharing both your grief and your observations. We had a man come into one of our guild meetings with a quilt his wife made and started hand quilting. She died suddenly. He was going to toss it into the trash when a friend of his wife intervened and brought him and it to our guild meeting. It's a beautiful quilt and several of the guild members are completing the hand quilting.

    So ladies and gentlemen, we really need to plan for the inheritance of our beloved fabrics. tools, and quilts. Otherwise, only God knows what will happen to them.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Gannyrosie's Avatar
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    Yes it's a subject everyone wants to advoid. Deep in her heart I bet she knew you would handle her crafts and complete them for her. To me that would bring me joy, knowing I can complete the things ya'll started together. The friendship will never end knowing you have her "love" with you. Keep your smile going, she would want nothing better than for you to enjoy it.

  7. #7
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Awwwwwwwwwww. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I agree with everything you said about labeling and arrangements for who gets what. I have only told my family the value of my tools, notions, etc. so they don't toss it.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
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  8. #8
    Super Member NikkiLu's Avatar
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    So sorry for the your loss. I have gone through this very thing with my BFF - she had an entire room full of fabric, in bookcases on bolts, etc. She had a major stroke and then passed away. After several months of us visiting her DH (my husbands best friend) we went to see him one day and he said that he had spent the past two days burning all of her fabric, etc. I almost fainted - no kidding. I raced into her "room" and sure enough it was empty. But, he hadn't gotten around to emptying the big closet - it had her plactic totes full of fabric - maybe a dozen or so totes. I was able to "rescue" them - DH and I carrying them out to our car in a hurry - before he changed his mind and burned them too. I asked where her paper patterns and thread was and he said "gone". I did find her quilt books in a bookcase in another bedroom so took them home too. But the worst thing is that she had a sister who had three daughters and then she had a daughter in-law who had a young daughter. I am sure that one of them might have wanted some of the things in her sewing room. I offerred to have her sister to come to my house to go through what I brought home and he told me that he did not want the sister to have anything. I am still in shock about all of this. Besides that, the floor in my sewing room collapsed - due partly to the weight of all of my fabric - old floor though. So, I had to put all of her fabric in a storage room in my garage.
    Nikki in MO

  9. #9
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    We had a beloved quilter in our community pass on suddenly from a fall - she was a fabulous friend of the quilting community here, and generous to quilters making charity items. We will always miss her assistance and helpfulness. At her funeral each attendee received a yard of her stash -- rolled with a ribbon. Mine was incorporated into a set of placements donated to a charity for a fund raising event. It was her love and passion -- and a joy to pass that along in her memory.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
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    We had a beloved quilter in our community pass on suddenly from a fall - she was a fabulous friend of the quilting community here, and generous to quilters making charity items. We will always miss her assistance and helpfulness. At her funeral each attendee received a yard of her stash -- rolled with a ribbon. Mine was incorporated into a set of placements donated to a charity for a fund raising event. It was her love and passion -- and a joy to pass that along in her memory.

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