Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 9 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 86

Thread: To stay or go...Applique Bee

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Southern Arizona
    Posts
    23
    (hopefully this is the right spot to ask for advice!)
    I belong to an Applique Bee that meets once a month at a specific member's home. The Bee moved from the quilt store, where anyone was welcome to a now limited number. I've belonged to this Bee for 2 1/2 years. All of the ladies are older than I am (10-20 years). It seems that all they do is complain and whine. And many topics are over my experience. When I made a comment about the local show and asked for opinions, I was abruptly told that "we don't discuss whining and complaints." Why is it ok for them, but not me? I also hear the same health and food allergy complaints month after month by another member. Is it my age? These women have known each other for years, and don't seem to be good friends, and everyone thinks that their version is the best. There are two members that have helped me improve my applique technique greatly. Both are award winning. I am reluctant to loose them. There haven't been any other appliquers that have helped me, except these two. One is the organizer, the other the hostess. Do I bow out and continue on my own? I really like the hostess, do I ask her how she handles the group conversations? I have no idea how she feels about the topics. She is usually very quiet during the Bees. There are two of us in the Bee that that feel this way. My friend is probably going to stop coming. I feel ignored and frustrated and surrounded by women who complain for several hours and show little interest in others. I don't know how to even bring this up to the organizer, she's shot me down a few times. I am torn, I have advice available, and I do get a few hours to focus on my current project, but do I stay or do I go? Thanks.

  2. #2
    Super Member MellieKQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    1,262
    I say stop going. Negativity begets negativity... why not host something in your own home once a month? This way you can invite the few that are pleasant and helpful (and worl on your own but get help during this time), and you all can help each other at this event. Make it a Saturday Social or something, and keep it small and enjoyable. I would bet the others would love it! :) Just keep in mind, no complaining about the other ladies. Start fresh and keep this POSITIVE. :)

  3. #3
    Senior Member kraftykimberly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    731
    Just my opinion, but if it were me, I would be outta there. The cons just seem to out weigh the pros and my time is worth more to me than to spend it in a situation I dont enjoy. In the end though, its just depends on what you want to sacrifice, your valuable time or the knowledge you might gain if you did stay. I'd sacrifice the possible knowledge, but again, thats just me. Hope you figure it out, I know its frustating for you.

  4. #4
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Hamburg,Western New York State
    Posts
    3,470
    Stay away from that group. It will wear down your creativity and you will lose interest in quilting. Maybe you could ask at your LQS to see if there are other groups in the area. My daughter just joined a really nice group at her LQS. Keep the telephone number of your two favorite members...maybe they are fed up too.

  5. #5
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    5,988
    Blog Entries
    2
    You said that at the quilt store all were welcome, but now it's a limited number. Did they welcome all of the other members or were just a few invited to join your group? Talk to your hostess. Did the organizer invite you to join this group? It sounds as though you are not really enjoying the time you spend there. Sounds like you and your friend need to make your own group? You may have other friends that want to learn but didn't get into the group. Hang in there and I know that you will figure it out. As said before keep the numbers of the people you like and keep in touch with them. Hugs. BrendaK

  6. #6
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    howell, Mi
    Posts
    1,860
    It seems to me that you will loose nothing if you bring it up the the hostess/organizer. It sounds like she is getting fed up with the complaining since she is usually so quiet at the meetings. If I am wrong, you will loose nothing since you are ready to quit anyway. Then you can begin another group and eliminate the complainers/nasty ladies. There was no excuse for that person to jump all over you that way. Good luck, and speak up for yourself. It's not worth the agrivation just to improve your applique.
    Sue

  7. #7
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    western NY formerly MN, FL, NC, SC
    Posts
    32,788
    Blog Entries
    15
    if you hit your thumb with a hammer, would you keep hitting it? if it's not fun with them, don't do it with them. quilting should be fun.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Kehoeta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Greenbush, MI
    Posts
    713
    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltnNan
    if you hit your thumb with a hammer, would you keep hitting it? if it's not fun with them, don't do it with them. quilting should be fun.

    Nancy is right - lose the negativity - it is already wearing you down - or you wouldn't be asking the question.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ChrisB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Texas DFW area
    Posts
    823
    Blog Entries
    1
    I would not stay either. I attended one church sponsored quilt meeting several years ago and you either did things the organizer's way or it was wrong. When she jumped my case at my FIRST meeting, I did not go back.

  10. #10
    Senior Member yonnikka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Southern Michigan
    Posts
    649
    A starting point is selecting a different time of the day or a different day of the week when you and your one friend can meet together, maybe re-contacting the shop where it all began, for a location. A new group of two can grow to three or four with less complainers and less complaints. You can do it.

Page 1 of 9 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.