Go Back  Quiltingboard Forums > Main
Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice >

Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

Watching out for Tender Feelings and yet Giving Advice

Old 03-31-2013, 02:33 PM
  #71  
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 182
Default

It can be fixed. Leave it be, and then help them rip it out and fix it when the time comes.
kakels is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 04:21 PM
  #72  
Power Poster
 
Jingle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Outside St. Louis
Posts: 38,181
Default

I would compliment colors and patterns. If they fall apart when washed I think they will ask you why that happened. Then you could suggest more quilting on the next one. Some people have to learn on their own.
Jingle is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 04:27 PM
  #73  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 68
Default

Maybe they just got tired of quilting. Suggest that you would help them tie some of the larger areas instead of quilting it. Would go fast and hold the quilt together.
Iwantasew is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 04:31 PM
  #74  
Power Poster
 
sewbizgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 25,893
Default

I would let it go, hard as that is. When things don't go we'll after washing, let them come ask why, if they will. Unsolicited advice may make them defensive.

Are you sure the quilt needs more stitching? These days, Warm and Natural says you can quilt it up to 10" apart. That's pretty wide!
sewbizgirl is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 05:33 PM
  #75  
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 203
Default

I would suggest you say something about spacing their hand quilting stitching-if you don't and the batting gets bunched up after washing - then they will come to you and say why didn't you tell me--after all you are one that has the expericene in quilting-and apparently your daughter don't care-she has no interest in quilting and as for the dil she probably has no one to guide her in quilting(here your chance to earn some brownie points) if you get what I mean!
MNquiltlady is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 06:49 PM
  #76  
Super Member
 
Chris Anders's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pleasant Hill, Louisiana
Posts: 1,288
Default

Great answer artsy one!!!!
Chris Anders is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 08:05 PM
  #77  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,811
Default

What is your goal? Relationship or quilt? I think you've indicated you're struggling with talking with them because you want to maintain the relationship. So approach it in a way to build the relationship. Such as:

"I really enjoyed your having interest in my favorite hobby and I enjoyed working with you. What did you like about the process? (open ended sentence), response. I like ___________ about your quilt because__________. What do you like. (response) So you like _______________, is that right? (response) What was difficult or confussing about making this quilt? (response) (repeat her response, ask clarification) What do you think would help this difficulty you've encountered? (If she never asks you for advise, ask permission to give advise, if she say's no [probably not] then let it go." End with "I enjoyed working with so much, I hope we can do it again,(pause) would that be good for you?"
petthefabric is offline  
Old 03-31-2013, 10:25 PM
  #78  
Senior Member
 
suzanprincess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Rancho Cordova, CA
Posts: 451
Default

Once upon a time...I received a baby gift of a special quilt. My dear friend drew and painted Peanuts cartoons on large squares of fabric, and tied the quilt at the intersections. Young and unknowing of quilts, and with no care directions, when it got dirty I washed it; all the batting lumped horribly into one corner, and I was SO upset, as all that work was now ruined and useless!

Since these beautiful quilts were made as gifts for others, it's the recipients who will be devastated if those beautiful items turn into lumpy uglies. They both are so very nice as they are now. I hope you will gently and carefully mention to each quilter the possibilities of ruin if not fastened together closely enough (quilting or tieing) and how disappointed and upset the recipients would be if they happened to wash and inadvertently make a mess of their treasured quilts. It's been 45 years since my unhappy experience, and it's still way too memorable to me!
suzanprincess is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 05:23 AM
  #79  
Senior Member
 
be a quilter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Lancaster Pa
Posts: 514
Default

Originally Posted by GramMER View Post
I have been able to influence two young ladies to make a quilt each. One is a granddaughter and the other is my youngest DDIL. Both of them chose to quilt on the regular sewing machine, but they have done way less quilting than seems necessary to me. I mentioned to the mother of my GD that her quilt needing more to "hold it together" but she just made the statement, "It has enough."

Now what? I was the one to buy the fabric and batting for the granddaughter and I know the batting is cotton--Warm-n-Natural. Then the DDIL (a different son's wife) has just sent me photos of a double bed quilt with a panel she put blocks around and then a very wide border. She has only quilted around the panel and the small blocks around that. It looks nice, but I am concerned when it is washed, the batting will fall down inside.

Any suggestions about how to approach them without causing hard feelings? Any tutorials you know of that deal with that issue?
I would tell the GD how nice of a job she did and then ask her how it went for her and if she liked quilting. At this point you could ask her if she knew that most battings have different requirements for sewing and go with what she says. I would mention that the quilt will fall down inside if there are not enough stitches and then let it up to her. Same approach with the DIL. I understand people have to learn the hard way sometimes but sometimes they just don't know and appreciate help. I would not have known that if someone didn't tell me when I started to quilt. If quilting is not for them, so be it, but they may just not know and might appreciate the help. imho
be a quilter is offline  
Old 04-01-2013, 02:47 PM
  #80  
Junior Member
 
yorkie luv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 203
Default

Originally Posted by ArtsyOne View Post
I used to judge baked goods for 4H'ers. Some would be really awful, but I always concentrated on what was good about their product. For instance, for a dinner roll that was raw dough inside I would say "You did a beautiful job on judging the color that the rolls should be!" and for one that was burnt on the outside I would say "What a great job you did making sure that they were all the same size!"

I did once read an article on this topic. Apparently it's: Compliment - Critique - Compliment in that order.

You can use the same tactic here. "What a great job you did on choosing the colors! Did the batting manufacturer have information about how closely it should be quilted? I'd hate for it to get lumpy when you did such a great job on it."
We need a LIKE button. I love this suggestion. And if they don't take your advice, you must remember it is THEIR project. As for the money spent, it is gone whether the quilt holds together or not. Sometimes we just have to bite our tongues and remember that we sometimes have to learn the hard way.
yorkie luv is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Mamatron
Main
9
10-11-2011 08:33 AM
purplemem
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
11
02-17-2011 10:52 PM
cjomomma
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
99
09-03-2010 12:26 PM
pam1966
Main
185
04-12-2010 11:53 AM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


FREE Quilting Newsletter