denise d

I was in the process of making a crib quilt for a friend, however she went into preterm labor at 24 weeks and the baby did not survive.

I am looking for advice on what to do with the top.

I am hesitant to give her the quilt because the event is still very fresh and her opportunity to try again may be very limited. I thought about making her a separate quilt (lap size) and using a block from the Shyloh's quilt.

I am very blessed to never have known this type of heartache, and I don't want to cause her any additional pain

Any advice or suggestions/experiences would be appreciated.

Murphy

I would gift it to a charity group and when she has another child make her a new one. Too painful to receive it now with no one to wrap in it (IMHO). You are a great friend. Thank you for sharing.

PaperPrincess

I'm so sorry for your friend. I like the lap quilt idea with the single block from the first quilt.

Jim's Gem

That's a tough one. I have had friends that have lost little ones that early. Some would have loved a tribute to the lost baby, others didn't want a reminder. Give it a little time and maybe you have some mutual friends that you can confer with about whether it would be too hurtful or not.

milp04

I'm so sorry to hear about this tragedy. Those who have not gone through the loss of a child cannot even imagine.

I would suggest that you might ask her, or her husband or other close family member about what their thoughts and feelings are. It might be a comfort to be given the finished quilt in remembrance of their little one. They will never ever forget the child they have lost. It may bring some comfort in their lonely times to have something to hold while grieving. You could maybe embroider the name, if they had chosen one, onto the blanket with any other information.

It was such a wonderful gift you were preparing for their little one.

Pam M

icon17

Very sad!! As someone with 1st hand exp. don't give it to her. Just past it to a charity or save for a gift for shower?
8-)

alaskasunshine

I have been through this. I miscarried and then had a ectopic. I feel like you should tell her what you were making, even show her if she wants to see thw quilt you were making. Let her make your decision. Your love in stitches may be just what she needs to draw comfort & healing. I would have loved to have had a friend like you. Her heart will be so touched by your kindness. She needs to be able to grieve and know that others hurt for her loss.
Just that you have come here for advice shows how delicate this all is. Avoidance is all to often what happens in sorrowful circumstances and that adds pain on pain. Go give her a hug and share your intentions.

take care,
:-D

fabric_fancy

i had the same experience and have never had another pregnancy since and now its much to late for me to ever have a baby.

i would not have wanted to receive this quilt.

i actually had purchased many fabrics to make a quilt and bedding and ended up using it all to make receiving blankets for the hospital that i lost my baby in.

i still make receiving blankets for them and on the day i was supposed to give birth i go to the hospital and bring them 22 receiving blankets (i was 22 weeks pregnant).

so you might want to consider something like that for this quilt and even bringing up the idea to her.

i started making receiving blankets within the first month of my loss and found it really helped me with my mourning.


here are links to some great tute on how to make receiving blankets. its very easy since you don't use any batting and there isn't any quilting.


http://sewmuchado.blogspot.com/2009/...-tutorial.html


http://piecenquilt.blogspot.com/2009...-tutorial.html


http://juicy-bits.typepad.com/juicy_...et-part-1.html

emerald46

I agree, had same experience, I would rather it go to a charity.

denise d

Thank you everyone for your responses and advice.

I am sorry for those of you that have experienced this heartache.

P (my friend) actually saw the quilt about a week before she delivered Shyloh. He lived for about 2 hours before he passed in her arms.