What to do?
02-24-2010, 05:53 AM
#1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flemington, Missouri
Posts: 20
I want to make a memory quilt using my late husband's clothes, but my daughter doesn't want me to. She just to throw them away. I think she trying to forget about her father completely. I also need to know what is the best pattern to use in making the memory quilt. Thank you all in advance!
02-24-2010, 06:08 AM
#2
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Alturas, CA
Posts: 9,393
If you want to make a memory quilt out of your deceased husbands shirts, please do so, regardless of how your daughter feels. Just about any pattern will do. If he wore mainly tee shirts, then you would need to stabilize the shirts before working with them. I'm making a memory tee shirt quilt for a friend of mine right now. I'm sure that you'll get lots of suggestions, but what it all boils down to is what YOU want.
02-24-2010, 06:21 AM
#3
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 475
Elaine,
First of all I want to extend my sympathy on the loss of your husband. I'm sorry your daughter doesn't agree with you about using his clothes in a quilt. Maybe it would be better if you packed the clothes up for a little while and then when your daughter has had time to heal a little more she may be more open minded about your idea. There have been many discussions on the board regarding memory quilts - if you want to take a look at them, go to the top of the page, click on search and type in memory quilt and a long list will come up. I have not made a memory quilt so I can't suggest a pattern. I would like to suggest trying to incorporate some of your husband's handwritting into the quilt. Maybe by tracing something he wrote onto fabric and embroidering the words. There are so many things that are totally unique to people -- their voice, smell, habits and quirks --- their handwritting is one trait that you can capture and keep.
First of all I want to extend my sympathy on the loss of your husband. I'm sorry your daughter doesn't agree with you about using his clothes in a quilt. Maybe it would be better if you packed the clothes up for a little while and then when your daughter has had time to heal a little more she may be more open minded about your idea. There have been many discussions on the board regarding memory quilts - if you want to take a look at them, go to the top of the page, click on search and type in memory quilt and a long list will come up. I have not made a memory quilt so I can't suggest a pattern. I would like to suggest trying to incorporate some of your husband's handwritting into the quilt. Maybe by tracing something he wrote onto fabric and embroidering the words. There are so many things that are totally unique to people -- their voice, smell, habits and quirks --- their handwritting is one trait that you can capture and keep.
02-24-2010, 06:23 AM
#4
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 6,689
I think you should make a quilt too. I wish I was quilting when my husband died - my Dad too. It would have made my memories even brighter! If your daughter opposes you, I just would not make a big deal about it - how old is your daughter?
Any pattern would work or like pocoellie said a tee shirt quilt would be nice too.
Any pattern would work or like pocoellie said a tee shirt quilt would be nice too.
02-24-2010, 06:27 AM
#5
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Elk River, MN
Posts: 212
I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband.
How old is your daughter? If she is grown, I would say make the quilt- if she is young, I would say help her through the grief by holding off on making it.
People all grieve differently. I don't think she is trying to pretend he didn't exist- but sometimes reminders (the quilt, for instance) will only open the wound more than help it to heal- for her perhaps.
Good luck... my thoughts and prayers go out to you today!
How old is your daughter? If she is grown, I would say make the quilt- if she is young, I would say help her through the grief by holding off on making it.
People all grieve differently. I don't think she is trying to pretend he didn't exist- but sometimes reminders (the quilt, for instance) will only open the wound more than help it to heal- for her perhaps.
Good luck... my thoughts and prayers go out to you today!
02-24-2010, 06:41 AM
#7
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flemington, Missouri
Posts: 20
My daughter is 28 years old, but I live with her. My husband passed away in October of 2008. At the time my mother also passed away. They passed about week from each other and around my daughter and oldest son's birthday. My husband never wrote much, but he did make me one valentine card when my youngest son was about 4 years old and I still have it maybe I can use it somehow.
02-24-2010, 07:01 AM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pine Grove, California
Posts: 2,816
I am so sorry for your loss.
He was your husband and you should do whatever you want with his clothes. To me, it would be very comforting to piece them together into a quilt to keep "me" warm. Making it and using it is going to trigger happy moments. Wjhat could be better than that?
And remember, your daughter is trying to handle her grief, too. But, ultimately it's your call---you are the wife.
He was your husband and you should do whatever you want with his clothes. To me, it would be very comforting to piece them together into a quilt to keep "me" warm. Making it and using it is going to trigger happy moments. Wjhat could be better than that?
And remember, your daughter is trying to handle her grief, too. But, ultimately it's your call---you are the wife.
02-24-2010, 07:35 AM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 2,521
Good suggestions from the other quilters. Since you live with your DD it would be difficult to make the quilt without her seeing it so maybe the best thing to do right now is to put your husband's things away. As time passes you'll know when it's the right time to make the quilt.
Like some of the others, I'm sorry I didn't quilt when DH and I lost our parents many years ago. Lost a brother and sister a few years ago but didn't have access to their old clothes so I made some quilts and donated them in their names to their church's community outreach programs.
Like some of the others, I'm sorry I didn't quilt when DH and I lost our parents many years ago. Lost a brother and sister a few years ago but didn't have access to their old clothes so I made some quilts and donated them in their names to their church's community outreach programs.
