Mousie

Mad, oh wise grasshopper...
I can remember a time when I shyed away from a dsil bc I thought if she
knew something about me she would look down on me bc she is a strong person.
Then one day it hit me that she had gone through a similar situation and might
think I was avoiding HER!
We really never know what is going on with another person until that door of
communication is opened up.
I think sending it to the niece to give to her mom is also a great idea...along
with the letter I mentioned of course .

joe'smom

If people don't know what goes into a quilt, or, if they assume that a quilter (or other kind of crafter) is just sitting around waiting to be asked to make the thing they make, I guess we can't really fault a person for asking if we will make them one. From our informed perspective, it seems like a nervy thing to do, but from the perspective of not knowing anything about it, it's not so bad. But that makes it our responsibility to say no (if we don't want to do it), and to educate the person asking, about the time and money that goes into a quilt. I wonder what SIL would have thought/said if you'd responded, 'It would take 6 weeks of my leisure time and $200 worth of fabric to make you a quilt.' Perhaps she would wonder why you would want to spend that kind of time and money on someone who isn't part of your life.

Karamarie

I agree with NJ Quilter, if you can afford it, send it to her and maybe she will come around - just be one of the "good guys".

romanojg

Maybe its a way of her mending fences. There comes a time (usually when we are older) that we just need to get on with things and sometimes its easier to do that without hashing out the reasons you/her were at odds. Which could bring up alot of bad memories and memories that may not be the same for each one of you. Since you made it, I'd send it to her and see what happens. If she stays in contact then bridges are mended or on the way to being mended. It would be easier on her daughter too. People think my family is weird because my best friend is my ex's wife. I figure I would like her if she wasn't married to him so why not just like her. It has made it easier over the past 30 some years on our kids and spouse's because we can do family things together without any awkwardness or fighting and she's always the first one there when I need something. Life's too short to not and take advantage of trying to get along if possible.

bearisgray

So what has happened since this thread was started?

letawellman

I was just wondering the same thing...

ShannanMN

I'm in complete agreement! I often post pictures of my quilts on Facebook and recently my Aunt asked when she was going to get hers (she was KIND OF joking). Now first I come from huge families and have like 40+ aunts and uncles so only very special family members will get them. My reply was simply that quilts are very expensive to create but they are also very special gifts of love so I don't take requests. I create what moves me.

cashs_mom

Inquiring minds want to know . . .

justflyingin

That will be most kind of you. I also have seen some great advice offered here--for almost all personality types and situations.

SewingSew

It's difficult to say no sometimes, isn't it? I don't know how much time has transpired, or if you have already agreed to making the quilt, but initially I would have negotiated the price of materials and shipping with her, and I would have suggested longarm quilters to her with the understanding that it would be up to her to negotiate that once she recieved the quilt top. I don't believe I would have incurred this expense for someone I rarely speak to, not to mention the value of your time. She probably has no clue as to the expense or effort involved in making a quilt.