From the time your born, 'til you ride in the hearst - ani't nothing so bad that it can't get worst.
Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants while wearing black slacks, you get a warm feeling but no one notices.
If you don't stop crying I am going to slap the poop out of you -and then slap you again for pooping.
Jumping around like a flea on a hot skillet.
Cute as a bugs ear.
Love is blind, but the neighbors aren't.
The older the barn, the more paint it takes. (My dad referring to women wearing make-up).
She used to be a 'tight end' but now she's a 'wide receiver'. (My dad referring to someone's back side).
If life were fair we would all be on the Riviera.