I'm with you, you have to feel sad for someone so insecure they drive people away from them when what they crave is to be close.
Also, maybe the cousin (your friend) should step away too - her relative may not get it, yet - but, just because you were born into or married into a family it doesnt mean they are attached to you at the hip like a Siamese twin! We do get to choose whom we love and care for and about, many people figure they can treat you like doodoo but you have to take it cus you're related! Not true!
Also, since the relative is so "helpful" she should not be insulted if one chooses to "help her" see the light-
anyway, it is good you took your friend under your sewing needle, and are there to help her develop w/o being judgmental, if her family is like her cousin she will need you quilting support sharet