You have my deepest sympathy on not having the vehicle of your dreams!
I remember the "silver bullet" that we had once upon a time. My vision was either a passenger van or a suburban or the like. What we got was a Dodge maxi van with no windows and only two seats in the front. Built a platform for a mattress in the back and 5 (later, 6) kids rode on that or the wheel wells. Blind spot was HUGE even with the fisheye mirrors. Thing drove me nuts!!!! Finally got rid of it when he was in Korea and I couldn't ever find a parking spot on campus after i went back to school. Traded it in for a mini van that I loved till it gave up the ghost after umpteen thousand miles.
Hope you become more reconciled to the beast!