To me, they're supposed to look crinkly and soft. But, if this helps any, I prewash and use quilter's dream batting, too. I wash the quilt as Harriet Hargrave recommends, doing the agitation myself and rinsing/spinning at low speed. Then I spread it on the floor, over a few blankets, to dry. I usually smooth it out gently and pat any places that need extra attention, like embroidery. Then, I position a few fans to blow air over it. It dries in the same way it's originally laid down; that is, it doesn't crinkle more or less after positioning. QD is supposed to shrink a few percentage points and, if you think about it, cotton doesn't come out of the washer or dryer without any wrinkles, either. Unless it's permapress or treated somehow.
If you use a polyester batt, it will likely crinkle less, but as long as the fabric is cotton, it doesn't seem realistic to expect it to look just like it did after pressing.
Hugs,
Charlotte