Potholders! I have learned the correct number in the kitchen. There is even a scientific formula for it....
n+ 1. n is the number you have in the kitchen that for some reason are never nearby when you need them.
This equation works for the correct number of sewing machine, where 'n' is the number you currently have and a myriad of other things in life. My husband has used it with his musical instruments, power tools, and anything else he insists on dragging home.
Speaking of fabric on fire. This topper is for a sister in law who recently burnt her tabletop. Now she needs something to hide the scorch marks. she burnt it by a napkin catching fire coming too close to a candle then igniting the tablecloth. It makes for a good laugh and lots of great gag gifts for the holidays. Battery operated faux-candles, firemans suppression blanket for a new tablecloth, mini fire extinguisher centerpieces, etc.