I struggled with this to the point of tears!
I mean that many times I cried bc I kept buying and keeping stuff and just didn't seem to know how to "let go".
I am compulsive about being organized, but over the years i had accumulated so much stuff, I was living to organize over and over and over.
Each time I would find "a better way", and would feel some pleasure and think I had made progress.
This went on endlessly and I could never understand why things didn't "feel" better.
Every high was followed by a low, when I realized that the latest change was not really better.
So back I'd go to cleaning and rearranging a growing pile of stuff.
I prayed and I prayed, but the problem was, I had no idea what I was doing wrong.
I had a very good book by a man that started his own cleaning business and explained all about the emotional reasons ppl keep stuff.
It still didn't help me understand myself and my situation.
Then I finally became desperate.
I literally began to feel that on my last day in my life, I would be cleaning and rearranging and then somebody was going to say "times up", it's time to go and you blew it.
You know what happened then?
I got mad....really mad, that my life was being stolen from me by this stuff!
I wanted to clean our computer room. It's 8x11 and was jam packed to the gills.
Not nastiness.
Oh no, it was all in totes and boxes and I knew what was in them.
They were stacked neatly and labeled ad infinitum.
I vacuumed and swept and I kept a window unblocked in case of emergency, but it was so depressing!
When it came time to get something it was not a day's work...it was at least a week or more...like putting up Christmas, and then putting it back...agonizing.
With that anger, I said, "Self...empty this room...take it ALL out, and then start putting back only what you need."
I started grabbing containers and carrying them out as fast as I am able, I did this until I was exhausted and had to rest.
Then the light bulb came on and I realized that I was looking at my stuff like:
if it's still intact and useable - keep it.
So I kept everything, bc I always took really good care of my stuff!
When I finally realized that my stuff was controlling me and I was practically never using it, I began to see the difference in need...
what do we really need? water, food, shelter, oxygen...things like that.
I hauled off four trunkloads of stuff and still hauling.
(my trunk is so big, I say you can stack bodies in there! )
I can't begin to tell you how freeing this was.
To finally learn it was my perspective about my stuff that was the problem.
I didn't NEED everything.
So it was nice stuff. So it was useful.
I'm sure the ppl that buy it from the thrift store I donate to, will be very pleased with their purchases and I have helped an organization.
(and I don't mean GW...i like to donate to ppl that really need help.)
It's not over.
I am continuing to "let go", and it has felt like a new beginning.
I have no idea why it took me into my 50's to figure this out, but you know what?
no regrets.
I don't sit around bemoaning all the years i didn't know how to let go.
It is, what it is...I'd rather celebrate the fact that my small house is getting bigger all the time.
I have more room all the time and I have many years to enjoy my new found freedom.
This may not help you, but it was worth a chance to share my personal experience.
I hope and pray you find your "mad".