The T-shirts I used for my quilt were used, not new, and I had no idea how much fabric softener had been used on them. In fact, I can't remember if I used it when I pre-washed them, lol. I didn't know it would make a difference. But it sure does, and I bet that's why the stabilizer is coming off those shirts. I agree with trying the elmer's glue stick, and if you can do it, you may want to try some quilt basting spray. I, too pray for your nightmare to end.