JanTx

My best friend's son and his wife are expecting a child. She just had an 18-week check-up where a second ultrasound showed a girl - that's what they thought it was at the first ultrasound, too. They suffered a miscarriage about a year ago so ... many of us know how that affects the mindset for subsequent pregnancies. I am working on a quilt that I am so excited to give them. It will have the baby's name appliqued on it. So ... do I have to wait until the child is here? Should I wait until the last trimester? I'd really like to give it now, but .. want to be affirming and bring joy. SO what's the consensus?

vanginney

I would wait.

Monika

I would wait until the baby is here............maybe just me.

mucky

I would wait too until it is born.

quiltsRfun

I'd wait. I have friends who just lost their baby in the third trimester. I was planning to give them a quilt but am now glad I waited.

quiltingcandy

I would wait - had too many friends lose a baby in the last tri-mester and it seemed to happen as I was working on a quilt. Back then I would embroider the quilt blocks by hand then make the quilt so it took a while. But after the second time I decided to wait. It was less stressful. And as my niece found out, the ultrasounds are not always correct. She was supposed to be having twin boys and the first one born was a little girl. Another friend of mine was told her son had a terrible tumor that would need immediate surgery, so they scheduled a c-section, and the "tumor" was his little sister. I won't go on - but there have been many like that. Not to mention, one friend took one look of their new baby and changed the planned name. So some times they are right on and sometime not.

katier825

In the past, I have always given quilts prior to the birth. My son & DIL were so nervous with the last pregnancy because of a prior miscarriage. She was doing great though, so I made a special quilt for the baby. Unfortunately, 2 weeks prior to her due date, they had to do an emergency c-section but were unable to get the baby out in time. What a horrible experience. I know they got rid of some of the baby things, but I don't have the heart to ask about the quilt. I know it wasn't in the casket, but not sure if they kept it as a remembrance. It was a very difficult time for them and I think there are still times that her baby things bring either comfort or sadness depending on their mood that day. I think from now on, I will wait until the birth before I give the quilt, especially if the mother has had prior miscarriages. My plan though is to try to have a couple of quilts on hand to give when I need a baby gift.

JanTx

All good advice and for a rare thing on this forum - a concensus! My devil's advocate view was that a gift now affirms their child who is as real to them now as she will be when she arrives. My family is built by adoption after several losses so .. that's part of my view. BUT I obviously wasn't sold on that view since I asked the queston on here. Thanks all!

lovngrandma

hello there,
I am a grandma who made a quilt for a little girl, my gradaughter, as i made one pick fand one blue adn one green, but the pink one was made with my first grandaughter in mind adn she was born way too early at only 1 pound and loved only a month, i then had my son and lil here with me and she became pregnant again and we went through the whole time and i never could make a quitl for fewr of losing her , adn i waitd till she was born to sart one, i did hand embroidery on all 3 of the quilts i made the first time, well i have the other babys quilt as well as hers as we have our grandaughter and are raising her as our own, and our dil had some mental issues nad attempted sucide and in the process lost a set of twins girls as well at 8 months pregnant, i had already started a set of matching ones for them, and after she did that , i jsut coudl nto face teh fabric so i gave it away,, and it stillhurts and that was onver a yera ago, so i woudl wait , it is made and after the baby is borna nd here andnamed , if u wnat the name then put the name on it and then giv eit them, and it will be cherished so much, and as for the other baby blanket, it is most likly put in aspecial place with ultrasound pics and first pics if there was any, and if she kept a babay book, for eve thought he baby died it is still a part of them, and the fact that she dows not have it out, dosent mean she tossed it, it is in aprivate placeiammost sure , God bless you for being so understnading and making such memories for them, i enoy making baby things myslf, and i have made 3 memorials on my time and hope i dont have to make another one, for a little lost angel, who was called so soon,

Peckish

I vote for waiting. Had 2 ultrasounds with my first baby, supposed to be a girl, born with a penis! He's now 18 and gets teased about the fact that the ultrasound tech couldn't see anything, hee hee!