QuiltingHiker

This is so true. Often during my days as an admin in an Alz facility I would hear friends and family trying to tell their loved one what date it "really was" etc. This only confuses them more. Just go along with them.

kathdavis

Your mother sounds like a normal Alzheimer's patient. I took care of my dad and had two young daughters at the same time. Just remember to take care of yourself. Your mother will be fine, but if something happens to you, it won't be good for anyone.

plainpat

There was a TV show called "The Long Goodbye"about alzheimers that showed a lot of what caregivers go thru.
A neighbor's husband would take clothes off, then run down the street.He wasn't mean & would go along quietly with who ever returned him to his home. The Dr explained to his wife that no one could know why he did what he did.His mind was gone & he needed care to get him thru the last of his life. She kept him home & later on also took care of a bro with the same disease.
A friends DH is in a home,because he did get mean & she couldn't handle him.After 50 some yrs, he no longer knows her....or anyone else.
It's a sad situation for all concerned & I agree ,you need to have time off...if only for an eve or a few hrs to get away from the house.It does you good & makes you a better care giver.

Julie in NM

Not gonna bore you w/our sit except to say Mom lives with us, 89, and been with us for 4 years. Her alz has been progressing rapidly for the past year.

What you MUST do is find respite care for yourself even if it's only for an hour. You need the mental break from the stress.

Only suggestion I have is to make sure to have the doors locked, especially at night, and a lock she can't figure out how to work. It would be terrible to have her wander off and get lost. My intention is not to scare you but just to warn you.

Hugs!

Marye

My husband went to Harbor Freight and bought a surveillance camera and a driveway monitor, and we have put them in her room. I was having to check on her every 15 minutes because she would try to get up out of bed and I was afraid she would go out the house. Those two items have kept us from going crazy ourselves. They really work. My husband put the camera on her dresser and the monitor in his study across the hall from her and he sees everything that goes on and then if he sees something wrong he goes to her. The driveway monitor is for her trying to get out of bed. We have a hospital bed with bed rails. That helps me alot because the rising of the bed. Just a thought. They really were a life saver for us. My husband is 75 and I am 62 and Mother is 89.

MTS

For caregivers who are overwhelmed and puzzled by the actions of their AD relative/friend/whatever, may I suggest reading this article:

Understanding the Dementia Experience
http://www.alzheimercambridge.on.ca/...Experience.pdf

It's a really fascinating look at what is going on inside the heads of dementia patients, and how they view the world.

It's a bit long (in .pdf format so you can download it and print it out), but not in medical-ese. It's very well written, and easily understandable.

I had numerous aha! moments when I first read it.

Judi Marvin too

Hello! I found that when my mother got upset or angry, music made her settle down. The comment earlier about just going with her to wherever she is was great. The road will get really rough at times but my thoughts were that she had rough times with raising us as well.... Hang in there!

MTS

Just because someone has an MD, doesn't mean they know everything about every disease.

A freaking questionnaire to determine if someone is depressed? For an AZ patient to fill out?

You're kidding, right?

Find a new doctor. Call the local AZ chapter in your city and ask for recommendations for a Neurologist and/or a Geri-Psychiatrist, who specializes in Dementia.

There are other drugs that might help your father, including anti-psychotics. My mother is now on Zyprexa and has been for around 5 months. She's not zonked out at all, just a lot calmer, A LOT, than before. She also takes Fluoxetine (Prosac generic). She does still have her moments every now and then, but life is much more pleasant for everyone.

She was originally prescribed Symbyax, which is a combo of the Zyprexa/Prosac (well, their generics). It was crazy ridiculous expensive, so I broke it down, and now get the Zyprexa generic from Canada, and the Prosac generic here.

Bliss.

Really, the changes were almost immediate. And, yes, I've read the warnings. Which, when you dig down a bit, aren't as dire. But would you rather have your father/mother raging 20 hours a day?

I would also have your father checked for a UTI (urinary tract infection). I wasn't aware until recently that these can cause havoc in (elderly) dementia patients. They go undetected, and drs often don't check because they don't know. But the patient doesn't realize anything is wrong, or can't communicate, and there are sometimes no symptoms other than the totally erratic, aggressive, out-of-control behavior. Start with the UTI check first.

tjradj

You've received some very accurate and compassionate advice. Apply what you can to your situation. Do what you can to reduce situations that cause anxiety for your mom. Some Alz/dementia patients can become extremely anxious by changes in routine. A different room, a different care giver, a different mail man, what ever.
Some regress into the fears of their life. A man may not go to bed because "it's not his" or "he can't pay this hotel bill", a fear from depression years.
Some will not keep clothes on, the next one will need the closet locked because she won't remember she is dressed and get dressed over and over again until she's overheating in so many layers.
Some will not be able to sit down, because they're in the "have to walk" phase, just keep handing them their sandwich back again after they set it down to walk. Some will regress to need a teddy bear to comfort them at bedtime.
As one lady said, don't try to bring them into your world, try to meet them in their world. That is sage advice.

trueimage

Thanks for the advice! We see the doc on Monday. My dad is a vet so we go to the VA. I have to say that I have actually been impressed with this hospital and it doesn't fit the stereotype of most VAs.