trif

So our youngest moves out tomorrow, he is going to live in the dorms on campus. He will only be about 30 min away, but I'm still sad, it won't be the same with him not home. The good news is that after I clean the house, it will stay clean. Does anyone have any words of wisdom as to how to cope? It will be too quiet. I already miss him.... :(

TanyaL

Don't assume that you are actually going to have an empty nest. I used to wake up on Saturday morning and find 2 car loads of college kids sleeping on the den and living room floors. My son had lots of friends who were too far from home to go home so they came home with him. I think they missed home cooking most. I never had such a full house as I did after I had my "empty nest".

natalieg

My DH and I "thought" we were going to be empty nesters in 2007, after the last of five graduated.

Only, my MIL moved in with us in 2005, I am her 24/7 caregiver; the oldest daughter decided to stay at home while attending college for the first few years. She moved out in 2008 and then we were empty nesters (except for MIL).

Then....youngest daughter came home from college for the summer and transferred college to here and has been at home for two years now....

The rule of the house is while in college they can stay here, as long as they pay $100/month for food and rent combined.

Sometimes we can kick ourselves for saying that, but eventually she will graduate!

TanyaL

After all 5 were out of the house, 4 were married, 1 was in college we have had 1 in a car wreck and brought him home to rehabilitate, live at home and finish college, MIL moved in and lived 5 years until she died, 1 divorced and lost his job, moved in until he retrained and finally remarried and got a new job, another moved back home when he lost his job.
In order to take care of the empty nest we had to move another house onto our property!LOL Out of the 5 kids we only have 2 that have never had to move back for one reason or another. These aren't good economic times.

LisaR

keep buisy i decided to learn a new thing every year and travel still miss them tho

ckcowl

keep busy- but not too busy---don't forget you still have your husband!
i work with a lady who was a (basket case) last year when her youngest left for college- for the first month she cried all the time---then she dove into work---started working 3 jobs- said she just didn't want to be home - it was too quiet---
well now her marriage is taking a hit- her husband is really tired of her always being at work somewhere- home just long enough to sleep-shower=and leave again---
and really who could blame him? she's not the easiest person to be around any more- dragged out- over worked- crabby- and oh so unhappy- now looking at a man who has been through thick & thin with for 25 years---who is saying enough is enough!
so---
instead of finding away from home activities to fill your time- maybe it's the perfect time to re-kindle and enjoy your spouse- without (children) interfering...remember- he's going through the same (empty nest syndrome) he just doesn't know how to show it like you do...but he needs you now too

emerald46

We've been empty nesters off and on since 1994 when youngest left for college. As long as we are alive our home is their home and they are welcomed back at any time. Daughter moved back for 3 months before her wedding because her lease was up and son moved back for a year after grad school. Sorry, I cannot imagine charging my children rent.

lol TanyaL..we were Holiday Inn South for all sorts of kiddo friends coming and going during the college years. Loved it.

DH and I enjoy being "on our own" again. You just have to enjoy life whatever stage you are at in the scheme of things.

mmdquilts

They are like boomerangs! Sooner or later they will return. Mine are spread around the country. Only the youngest lives here... and when I say here I mean I can go across the sidewalk to her door!

hopetoquilt

I know people try to make their children more independent (charging rent, telling kids to move out) but my father said, "I didn't have kids just to kick them out." My parents' house was always open to us for as long as we needed it. Their rule was that we just couldn't be lazy. Either you were in college or working. They figured it was a waste of money for us to pay for rent/food/utilities somewhere else while it was free at home. None of the 5 of us took advantage. We all held at least one job (usually more) or went to college AND held a job. We all lived at home until about 27 years old. None of us left with any college or other debt and several of us had plenty of $ for downpayments on a house.

So, my advice is to keep your home open to your kids. Expect that in this economy that they will be back. Consider this time a "vacation." The security for a child knowing that they can come back is priceless.

plainpat

I loved my Mom's advice when things changed "it's just another part of life".Took it to heart & even my grown Grkids say it.
When a job doesn't work out,someone has serious surgery,a friends child is sick etc....Something diff happens to us all & "it's just another part of life".

You've been thru a lot raising a family...& nothing stays the same forever.It's part of life & as will the empty nest phase.A yr from now,you'll have grown & changed.Good luck.