Subject: It's The Law
10-15-2011, 01:26 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: SW WI
Posts: 914
>
>
>
> 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
>
> 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
>
> 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>
> 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
>
> 6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
>
> 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
>
> 8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
>
> 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
>
> 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
>
> 11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
>
> 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>
> 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
>
> 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
>
> 15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
>
> 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
>
> 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
> 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
>
> 19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
>
>
>
> 1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
>
> 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
>
> 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>
> 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
>
> 6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
>
> 7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
>
> 8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
>
> 9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
>
> 10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
>
> 11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
>
> 12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>
> 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
>
> 14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
>
> 15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
>
> 16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
>
> 17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
> 18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
>
> 19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
>
10-15-2011, 03:38 PM
#7
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Rogers, MN, USA
Posts: 206
OK, so I'm trying to watch the Tim Conway/Johnny Carson link posted in another thread. Here's the new law I just made up.
Law of talking...you can sit in the living room, all by yourself, all quiet, until you either try to talk on the phone or watch something on tv or the internet...then your husband will come upstairs and want to talk... :(
Law of talking...you can sit in the living room, all by yourself, all quiet, until you either try to talk on the phone or watch something on tv or the internet...then your husband will come upstairs and want to talk... :(
10-15-2011, 07:11 PM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: AR
Posts: 3,604
Here's one I've made up...
My husband doesn't do much talking when he's home but when he calls me everyday at lunch, he turns into "Chatty Cathy". Maybe I should just call him on my cell phone from my sewing room and chat with him when he's on his computer. haha
My husband doesn't do much talking when he's home but when he calls me everyday at lunch, he turns into "Chatty Cathy". Maybe I should just call him on my cell phone from my sewing room and chat with him when he's on his computer. haha
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
olmphoto2
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
62
03-02-2011 03:25 PM
isewman
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
50
10-22-2010 06:00 AM
bearisgray
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
3
09-20-2009 05:56 AM
