Courtesy & good manners: lost arts?
07-16-2011, 01:35 PM
#71
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Campton,Kentucky
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by Hen3rietta
I was recently reading another post relating yet another instance of a quilter making something with love and affection and yes, gorgeous!, as a gift and having it treated as though it were just another "thing" and this got me to thinking about courtesy and good manners. I think it is the unintentional or thoughtless dismissal of someone's work, gift or time that is the worst offense of all.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
07-16-2011, 01:55 PM
#72
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Hattiesburg,MS 39402
Posts: 1,458
I live in the south and I say "sir" to my boss and I"m 10 years older than him. Another thing I was taught by my mom, if someone gives you a gift regardless if you like it or not, thank them. I do the secret pal monthly swap and some of these ladies didn't even mention the package I mailed them.
07-16-2011, 02:40 PM
#73
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6,958
I agree, manners are becoming a lost art. We made sure our son (now 25) learned his manners when he was little.
However, as he got to the end of grade school and into middle school, we always got a laugh, since he would be almost rude to us, but other people would tell us what how well-mannered and polite he was. Obviously, the rebellion had set in. Now he is polite again and is surprised by how rude people can be. :)
However, as he got to the end of grade school and into middle school, we always got a laugh, since he would be almost rude to us, but other people would tell us what how well-mannered and polite he was. Obviously, the rebellion had set in. Now he is polite again and is surprised by how rude people can be. :)
07-16-2011, 02:49 PM
#74
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 385
Got a wrong number call the other night. When I informed the young lad it was, he apologized, "I am sorry mam." and then he hung up. No smart remark, no slamming the phone off, but a nice polite I am sorry. Would of like to call his parents and tell them how well they were doing with him but didn't think that was appropriate.
07-16-2011, 03:32 PM
#75
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Plainfield, IN
Posts: 390
I dunno... I think there are still plenty of polite, courteous people out there, the only problem is that we seem to only notice the ones that stand out as not being so. I learned this when I was doing a lot of cycling--a hundred cars will pass you with a wave, a smile, and plenty of breathing room, but you'll remember that one guy who crowded you into the ditch on a blind curve with his horn blaring. Once I made that connection and made an effort to notice the polite ones, they sure seemed a lot more common than they had before.
I know it definitely does my blood pressure a world of good to pay closer attention to the nice people. The only thing I can do is live by example and hope it rubs off on a few.
I know it definitely does my blood pressure a world of good to pay closer attention to the nice people. The only thing I can do is live by example and hope it rubs off on a few.
07-16-2011, 05:55 PM
#76
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 946
Originally Posted by MTS
Sorry, were you talking to me? I didn't catch it because I was texting on my smartphone while simultaneously checking the browser for the weather in Phuket while changing lanes without a blinker while driving 80mph on the interstate. Why? Because I can.
:roll: :roll::roll::roll::roll::roll:
:roll: :roll::roll::roll::roll::roll:
07-16-2011, 06:10 PM
#77
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Galveston Texas
Posts: 1,596
I was taught yes mam/sir, but teachers here have discouraged it now. The other thing is calling their elders by their first name. And we wonder why kids don't have respect. They are also given so much that have little to look forward to.
Clinton said "I guess because I could" when Oprah asked him about his dilly-dally behavior. As one other poster, it doesn't mean it is right.
Clinton said "I guess because I could" when Oprah asked him about his dilly-dally behavior. As one other poster, it doesn't mean it is right.
07-16-2011, 07:23 PM
#78
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 30
I work in a high school and next year we are having a big campaign called PBIS (positive behavior incentive and support) It's a NATIONAL program to teach students how to behave. When they are polite, act respectively, etc. we're to reward them. Give me a break, they should have been taught these things when they were 3 years old! We are definatly a ME country. It shows elsewhere in our society.
07-16-2011, 07:45 PM
#79
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: East Texas
Posts: 3,021
All my children & grandchildren say yes mam & yes sir. Thank you & please. I was brought up this way & have done the same with my children. Last month we went on vacation with friends from California & North Dakota. The guys from California nearly passed out when my 12 year old grandson said yes sir to them. They were totally shocked & impressed all the same. The ND kids were very polite too. Not ragging on CA kids but friends said they didn't hear it often enough there.
07-16-2011, 08:08 PM
#80
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bosque County, Texas
Posts: 2,709
I'm glad to see that someone else has a problem with being called Miss First Name instead of Mrs Last Name. It seems everyone wants to call you by your first name from your doctor's appointment secretary to the stranger on the telephone who should be helping you settle an incorrect account or, heaven forbid, even the person trying to sell you something in a solicitation call.
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