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Thread: Did you hear any screaming and crying from the NW

  1. #1
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    Today after threatening my kids I did it I packed up the clothes left on the floor the makeup on the counter the earings left on the floor and gave them to good will. (ok they are in my laundry room) but man I cannot believe how much crap they had thrown around. I mean really when they go into their bathroom they just sit on the pot take off clothes and leave them there. This has just recently started I warned them and well today I did it. Hopefully they will get it into their heads that their clothes are not my responsibility!!! Ok enough said how do you deal with Teens who do not clean up?? Was I wrong empty threats were not working what motherly words of advice can I get from you??

  2. #2
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Good for you!

  3. #3
    Senior Member booklady's Avatar
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    Good for you! Except, put that stuff even farther away then the laundry room and make them pay you to get it back! You're not their maid!!!

  4. #4
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    it's natural for teenagers to constantly test to see how far they can push their luck. it's normal for them to get cranky and to become convinced that you know nothing and couldn't possibly understand anything they're going through.

    it's just as natural for us to lose patience and to give all their abandoned and abused belongings to charity - for real - and to make them get jobs to buy them back themselves. ;-)

  5. #5
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    My sister did the same thing. She tried to get them to clean the room, even gave them a second heads up. Then she went in and cleaned anything that wasn't in its place. Got rid of it. AND NO, there was no last-minute reprieve, no slipping anything out of the bag, AND there were no replacements. She only had to do it twice (a few years apart). Children are very good at learning the rules when there are true accountable consequences. Good for you.

  6. #6
    Super Member KatFish's Avatar
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    Don't feel bad. I did the same thing to my kids, except I made them buy back their stuff. Anything not bought back after 3 months was donated to the Good Will.

    Years later they realized that I put the money they paid me for their stuff back in their savings accounts. Buying back their stuff...Free. Learning to pick up after themselfs...Priceless.

    Hang in their long enough and years later you might hear a thank you mom.

  7. #7
    Senior Member jlong's Avatar
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    My mother threw my clothes out the bathroom window once and they landed on a small roof. She thought I would have to climb out the window to retrieve them. I used a hanger to hook them. She was rather upset that I didn't have to go out the window but I did get the point. There were fewer clothes laying on the floor from then on.

  8. #8
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    OOOHHH buy back Good idea! did they pay for it monetary or extra chores??

  9. #9
    Super Member Jennifer22206's Avatar
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    I remember that my mother would tell me, Maid and Mother both may start with M, but I am your MOTHER not your MAID.

    Then she proceeded to empty my entire room of stuff that wasn't in its place and she burned it. Then I had to pay for all new. Trust me, I cleaned after that. There were only 3 or 4 shirts/pants and a journal or two, but I learned my lesson

  10. #10
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    My nephew has recently been in an entitlement mode. So his mother stopped giving presents for a bit. He challenged her that he would then buy IT with his own money. My sister denied him permission, explaining that it was her responsibility to teach him how to handle his money and that spending it on impulse was not a good way to go. So for now, the young lad has to put his allowance in the bank. Life is tough! (NO - I assure you all, the child is not deprived even if he thinks so. lol)

  11. #11
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    It was the only place they would not look in LOL!!! I refuse to do their laundry. I love the ideas of making them buy back stuff and will start making them pay for me to do chores they did not do!

  12. #12
    Super Member hikingquilter's Avatar
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    With teenagers (and I have had 7)just close the door to their room. It's their space. I had rules about no clothes in the bathroom and no food in the bedroom. Everybody did their own laundry by the time they were 12. And yes, if something is found where it shouldn't be, make it disappear! Believe me, they learn. Pick your battles and save your sanity.

  13. #13
    Super Member magpie's Avatar
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    I went on strike in the '80's when mine were teens. Lasted 2 weeks. They learned. Now bothe are grown with teens of their own, hah! Stick to your rules.

  14. #14
    Senior Member quilter on the eastern edge's Avatar
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    My sister did that with her two kids when they were very young. They had their toys all over the TV room floor and were asked to pick them up three times. Then she swept in like Hurricane Dora and put all of the Little Ponies, Barbies, etc. in a trash bag and told them she was throwing it all in the trash (she actually stored it all in the garage). They whined and cried but after a few days didn't even miss the toys or ask about them again. She eventually gave the toys to a shelter and the girls didn't even realize they were gone.

  15. #15
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Looks like you have unanimous agreement with your decision/actions so far! The buy back idea is priceless! (Shoot, wish I'd thought of that years ago!)

    I once put everything in name-marked tubs under a bench in the mud room...if they couldn't find something, they were supposed to look there. It was absolutely astounding to me how nearly all those things stayed in those tubs so long NO ONE remembered who'd left them out or why they needed them. You might not make much on the buy-back, but still.....!

    I finally got my 15 year old DD to get herself ready and in the car on a school morning by refusing to put my feet on the floor until she was heading down the stairs to the car. The deal was, wake me 1 minute before walking out the door, I'll throw on jeans and t and drive her to carpool. SHE was responsible for her own breakfast, her lunch/books/papers/uniforms/details and I WOULD NOT be responsible for getting her out the door. Finally worked so well, 15 years ago, that I still hate to get up until it's well into the day, LOL!

    Jan in VA

  16. #16
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    they can only wear dirty stinky clothes so long. keep up the good work. they can learn how to wash their own. it's time.

  17. #17
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    Go to Flylady.com and she will give you lots of ideas.

    But please realize that these are teenagers, who, on the last day of their 12th year go to bed your darling little girl, but on their 13th birthday, wake up with a mind possessed by aliens. You have to be ring master to these critters and keep a mind trip on them all the time. Some time in the future they will grow up and become rational human beings whom you will love again.

    I now love both my daughters, even though in their teens a lot of the time I could not stand either one, and often wished myself lost back in the hills of WV. Alone with a knife, ax and matches.

  18. #18
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    I think their clothes should just keep dissappearing until they notice they have nothing to wear. Also, should the cell phone also happen to dissappear for a while.

  19. #19
    Super Member Rebecca VLQ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    it's natural for teenagers to constantly test to see how far they can push their luck. it's normal for them to get cranky and to become convinced that you know nothing and couldn't possibly understand anything they're going through.

    it's just as natural for us to lose patience and to give all their abandoned and abused belongings to charity - for real - and to make them get jobs to buy them back themselves. ;-)
    Patrice, where were you two years ago when I needed you???

    :lol:

  20. #20
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    my neighbours son re married and now he and the kids have to do there own washing and ironing, she was a single mum of 3 girls and had to work hard all day to feed them so they all learnt to do chores very early, it was a rude awakening for him and his kids but now they are happy to do it and take there responsibilities very seriosly

  21. #21
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I did the same thing to my kids... buy them back or out they went :wink: Having to give up their hard earned money wasn't easy, but it was a great lesson for them. My time is important and worth something too :D:D:D

    Stay strong, ignore the whining... and reap the benefits as they start picking up after themselves... One DD was a little more stubborn and had to lose more than her siblings before she realized I really WAS serious LMBO But she ended up being the neatest of them all :D:D:D

  22. #22

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    I agree with all of the above. My kids had to start young to do there laundry.
    I was working 3 jobs at one point so I wasn't here to always do the laundry for them.
    I felt they were better for it. I had a girl friend that did her girls clothes and when they went off to collage didn't know how to do there laundry or boil water.
    Kids have it way to easy these days. They need to learn where the money comes from and its not on the tree or your hand. If the clothes get left on the floor they stay there until they pick them up and do the washing.
    I liked the buying back Idea

  23. #23
    Super Member KathyAire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quiltforme
    OOOHHH buy back Good idea! did they pay for it monetary or extra chores??
    I would think it would be effective either way.
    My friend, Gena, gives her daughter, Joni, a list of things during summer (extra, in addition to her regular responsibilities) Gena wants done. She will have many different jobs paying Joni according to what is involved in the job. Joni can pick anything from the list. The jobs will be anywhere from $1.00 to $50.00. Joni has to complete the job to satisfaction before being paid. Gena said that Joni has never done a $50.00 job. I asked what would be a $50.00 job -- cleaning out the storm cellar. I guess something like that would be too overwhelming to a teenager. I told Gena that I would clean it out for $50.00.

  24. #24
    Super Member GrammaNan's Avatar
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    We lived in Southern New Mexico for one year and had a roach, scorpion, centipede and rattle snake problem. I can promise you that when you find any one of those in your pant leg because you left them on the floor, you learn to pick up your clothes real quick.!

  25. #25
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    [quote=KathyAire............. I asked what would be a $50.00 job -- cleaning out the storm cellar. I guess something like that would be too overwhelming to a teenager. I told Gena that I would clean it out for $50.00.[/quote]

    A TEXAS storm cellar?? In scorpion/tarantula/bugs-as-big-as-your-hand territory??? Smart teen. LOL! $500 wouldn't be enough for me, no way!! :roll:

    Jan in VA (formerly a 30-year TX resident)

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