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Thread: dont know what to do

  1. #1
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    Unhappy dont know what to do

    HI can you help me my DH is going to be 50 Jan 24. I WANT TO HAVE A SUPRIZE PARTY FOR HIM BUT MY HOUSE IS SMALL so I was going to have it at a chinese buffet he likes they told me I could decorate and bring in a cake . I told his Mom about it and she told me it would be rude to do it there because people would have to pay for thear meal she said we will just have it at her house (that is smaller than mine)I want to have friends DH has not seen in a long time come and there would not be room for everybody at her house.I am running out of time can you please tell me what you think. Thank you Grandma B
    Grandma B

  2. #2
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    Is there a church with a meeting room/basement you couldrent and and have some of your friend help with the food? We did that for my wedding reception and everyone had plenty to eat etc. You would be able to decorate it as you want too.
    Kathy Osterby

  3. #3
    Super Member AshleyR's Avatar
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    Grandma, I hope it is not rude, because my husband did the same thing for me! Make it clear that lunch or dinner is not on you. Perhaps you can word it in a way that since you're not buying them a meal that a gift is not expected.
    If the shoe was on the other foot, I would not expect you to pay for my meal!
    One thing to keep in mind.. I couldn't really socialize with many guests during my "meal time party"; only the people that were sitting right beside me and in front of me. There were only about 10 of us at my surprise party, which was just about right. I would be afraid if there were more people, your husband might not be able to mingle at a restaurant the way he would be able to in a "party" setting. But kids have parties all the time in restaurants, so why not you?!

    Good luck!

  4. #4
    Senior Member TnBecky's Avatar
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    I agree with Kathy, a Church fellowship hall would be great. Or if your DH has a very good friend that he sees often, maybe they would love to help out with their house. Have a cake & finger foods. What ever you do I know he will love you for it. I hope that you post pictures. Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you DH.

    Becky

  5. #5
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Most hotels/bigger motels have banquet rooms you can rent. Several banks in my area have them too. Do you have a Game and Fish Center? They have free community rooms. Also the local library usually has a community room that can be used for free. Put the word out you are looking to rent or use a space. A restaurant party is hard to mingle. Most think after the meal is over it's time to leave.
    Got fabric?

  6. #6
    Super Member athomenow's Avatar
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    My DH threw a 60th surprise party for me with a Hawaiian theme and rented out a smallish room in the lodge. We had plenty of time to socialize after the meal. He did pay for everyone's dinner and went a little overboard with a DJ but our friends would have paid for their own meal if that had been the case. I think what you want to do is have time to talk to everyone after you eat. Don't let others ruin your plans. It will be fine!
    Debra

  7. #7
    Senior Member MissSandra's Avatar
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    for bunnies 75th I held an open house people came and went threw out the day and I had a buffet on the table for guests and warmed things up as needed it was simple delightful and he so enjoyed the visiting.
    Warm Regards,
    Sandra

  8. #8
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    Smile Husbands Party

    I agree with several posters to inquire about rental spaces. Here we have library, legion, church, community center, banks, senior center, and more that rent for reasonable costs. As to food, a potluck with friends is fun and perhaps you could supply the drinks and paper plates or whatever. If you like some entertainment scour your library or go on line for birthday poems, have the grand kids sing together, offer story-telling time to old friends, display old photographs and college yearbooks, play background music or feature the school choir or band, old songs bring back plenty of memories and if you are daring have a karaoke. To surprise him takes planning. Perhaps get someone to offer him a day out and drive him somewhere then to the designated place when the guest are all assembled. Say in lieu of gifts you want your guests to have fun!

  9. #9
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    Why don't you call and talk to the ones you are wanting to invite and ask them if they have a problem of paying for their own meal. Explain you are trying to figure out the best solution but want to celebrate this special day with people who mean alot to DH. Most understand.
    Judy

  10. #10
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    Since you don't say if you have the money to rent a hall or not, if you do not the open house idea would make the most sense. A friend of mine did one for Christmas. They had the gift exchange which was set for a specific time. But for us that did not want to participate in it, I was able to come early, talk and meet some new people and leave after a couple of hours. They had people coming and going constantly from 2 pm to 8 pm. They got to spend time with all their guests and everyone had a wonderful time.

  11. #11
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    If you live in a small town you may have a Town Hall that is available to residents for a nominal fee(the one in my hometown is only $25) not fancy but clean and has a kitchen available. we've rented it for everything from anniveraries to graduation to Xmas parties. Also, is DH a member of any org. like VFW or Knights of Columbus? some have halls to rent and the cost to members is usually low. If you can do something like that, call up your close friends and see if they will "help" with the suprise by doing a potluck for it.

  12. #12
    Super Member Tink's Mom's Avatar
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    We just had our son's wedding reception at our small house in Oct. There is no way we could have a bunch of people in this small house, but by doing an open house, we were able to manage it.
    For the wedding, we had lots of hors doevres and desserts/cake. Everyone came and went when ever, and we never had too many at one time.
    BTW, we had 50 people.
    Tink's Mom (My name is really Susie)

  13. #13
    Super Member jayelee's Avatar
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    I rented our Fire Hall to have my dad's 65th birthday party The banquet room was the perfect size we just decorated and used their kitchen to make up the food For my sisters wedding they had it in the same place and had the food catered in Worked out well Both times we had over 100 people and a band with dancing

  14. #14
    Senior Member ChaiQuilter's Avatar
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    I threw my husband a bowling surprise party for his 40th. Everyone had a blast. Your local alley might have some party deals.

  15. #15
    Member kalena's Avatar
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    In our state you can get the fire hall for free. Make it a bring a dish.

  16. #16
    Senior Member mythreesuns's Avatar
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    Check with local town halls.. but I opt for the open house idea. You really can visit with more people that way, as they do not all come at the same time. We do this for our parties all the time, and we serve a buffet style foods that we can keep warm in crock pots, nesco cookers, nesco cookers made into ice bowls for cold items, make huge cubes of ice using old milk jugs, cake pans filling them 1/2 full of water, and when trying to keep foods as cold as possible, always use ice water baths. Ice water baths are always colder then just ice. Even for coolers of beverages, add water and ice and your beverages will always be colder then they would come out of your fridge. Ice water baths are always 32 degrees. This is how all food safety companies tests their temp probes, take a cup (glass, paper, plastic etc) fill with ice and then fill with cold water... wait 2 minutes... take the temp.. it should read 32 degrees, if it does not, your thermometer is not working correctly.
    Faye

  17. #17
    Super Member grandme26's Avatar
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    I have been to many buffetts to celebrate for one reason or another and have never expected the host or hostest to pay for my meal. If this is what your DH would enjoy do it!
    Grandmeto6 aka Judy

  18. #18
    Super Member BarbaraSue's Avatar
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    If the restaraunt you chose has a banquet room, that is likely the place they will put your party for this. That can be why you can decorate. Many businesses have rooms for this sort of occasion. You can as the hostess, buy certain items from them for the party. Drinks, vege trays, snack trays, etc. so your guests only have to buy if they want someting more.
    I had a jewelry party at such a place. I bought non-alcoholic drink, vege tray, and something else I forget, and the guests could order off the menu if they wanted more. A waitress was assigned to the room to keep track of what we needed.
    Ask your Chinese buffet place can do something like this for you, and tell Mom what they can do, and that you have it worked out to be a surprise for him.
    To make lots of quilts, is to have lots of scraps, and I do, and I do.
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  19. #19
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    For my mother in law's 80th birthday we used our church hall invited all her friends and asked each to bring a dish,we provided cake,mints and drink. We cleaned up everything afterwards and saw to it that everything was as we found it. Do have a church or her that you could use, some do charge $50 +. We heared no complaints. Her daughter read memories of her pass life on. It was a fun and joyous event

  20. #20
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    I think a drop in would be a lovely solution, as suggested by quilting Candy. That way, folks could come, stay as long as they could and move on to make space for others coming.

  21. #21
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    Hey, it your surprise party....have it where you want to. Just be up front that your guest will be paying for there own dinners, that why there is no confusion about who's picking up the meal tab. Good luck with your mother in law,,,....

  22. #22
    Super Member kathdavis's Avatar
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    "It is not the size of your house, but the size of your heart," my mom always said. It was always amazing how many people we would pack into Grandma's house. Have an open house with snackies or ham sandwiches, chips, etc. People will probably come and go. Some friends may hang around for a while, but enjoy visiting.
    Kathleen

    Remember, people will see your quilts long after you are gone....NOT your housework!

  23. #23
    Super Member auntpiggylpn's Avatar
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    We do this all the time for someone's birthday. That way everybody gets what they want to eat. The days of the host and hostess providing a meal for all guests are over, unless it is a specified party at their home.
    No one has ever become poor by giving. - Anne Frank
    Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

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  24. #24
    Super Member OmaForFour's Avatar
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    We rented the VFW hall in our town when one of my daughters graduated from Jr. High at the same time the other one graduated from High School. We had plenty of room for all and it was not very expensive. Perhaps there is a VFW, American Legion or Mason's hall near you.
    We brought in our own food and etc. It was a great time.

  25. #25
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    Why not take your husband out for the Chinese buffet he enjoys, just the 2 of you. Send out invitations to your house for just birthday cake, coffee and conversation. If you are not doing a sit down meal perhaps you would have enough room?

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