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Thread: The Ex-wife

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    The Ex-wife

    Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
    One evening, after the honeymoon,
    he was assembling some ammo loads for an upcoming hunt.


    His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
    After a long period of silence she finally speaks.


    Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married, I think it's
    time you quit hunting, shooting, handloading, and fishing.
    Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.

    Tim gets this horrified look on his face.


    She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"


    ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

    "Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"






    ”I wasn't “
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Patti25314's Avatar
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    hee hee hee hee (I used to introduce my first husband as "my first husband").
    Since I gain weight reading cookbooks, why can't I lose weight watching a fitness program?

  3. #3
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter!
    Mary

  4. #4
    Member jackiej's Avatar
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    That's a good one.. thanks

  5. #5
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    You always find the best!! Thanks!!!
    Aronel aka Lee

  6. #6
    Senior Member Spudgm's Avatar
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    Very cute, thanks for sharing!
    -Life is like a quilt...bits & pieces, joy -and- sorrow, stitched with love- http://spudgrandma.wordpress.com/

  7. #7
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    Another good one, Ditter! My cousin and her ex remained on good terms for their kid's sake. After she remarried, she and her hubby were out eating with a group of us and we ran into the ex. Her present hubby introduced him to our friends as his husband-in-law. I laughed until I cried.

  8. #8
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    That was too funny!!

  9. #9
    Super Member RobertaMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti25314 View Post
    hee hee hee hee (I used to introduce my first husband as "my first husband").
    I still do that!! Of course we have only been married sixty years, and eight months... ;-)

  10. #10
    Super Member quiltnut4ever's Avatar
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    You did again Ditter! I laughed so hard and I shared this with my boyfriend, he fishes, and he just couldn't stop laughing, hence the reason why I won't remarry!

  11. #11
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    Funny! Thanks Ditter.

  12. #12
    Super Member Teacup's Avatar
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    My DH, a marriage counselor, got a good chuckle out of this one.
    He frequently refers to me as his first wife. We've made it 32 years so far. Since we've married he's developed a habit of fishing and golfing...I get to putz around with quilting. We tolerate each other's obsessions.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Noiseynana's Avatar
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    There ya go again. hehehe
    Stitching is Meditation in Motion

  14. #14
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    gosh dog it!! you got me again!!!!

  15. #15
    Super Member Country1's Avatar
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    Ditter, you crack me up! As I've said before wish you were my neighbor!
    Country1
    Country 1

  16. #16
    Super Member Pat G's Avatar
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    Oh my gosh, that was so funny. I'm so dense I had to read it twice before I got it. Duuuh.

  17. #17
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Omg, Ditter

    that is a good one !
    Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it.
    I have already committed my felonies, so people don't have to worry. (Russell Means)
    I swear to you, I am guilty of only being Indian. That's why I am here. (Leonard Peltier)

  18. #18
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country1 View Post
    Ditter, you crack me up! As I've said before wish you were my neighbor!
    Country1
    If that happened neither one of you would get any quilting done. You would be to busy laughing.
    Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it.
    I have already committed my felonies, so people don't have to worry. (Russell Means)
    I swear to you, I am guilty of only being Indian. That's why I am here. (Leonard Peltier)

  19. #19
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    MimiBug123, my husband and his ex's second husband called each other husbands-in-law which I found funny so I refer to her as my wife-in-law (and if you have to have an ex in the picture, she's been a pretty good one).

  20. #20
    Power Poster solstice3's Avatar
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    That was cute

  21. #21
    Super Member Debra Mc's Avatar
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    That is too funny. Sounds like he is from Texas. My poor DS had to give his room that holds all his hunting stuff for the new baby that is coming.lol. They are going to build a new house soon & he is going to build himself a man cave for all the guns, bows & fishing stuff.
    Live everyday so that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says oh crap she's up.

  22. #22
    Super Member Sunnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti25314 View Post
    hee hee hee hee (I used to introduce my first husband as "my first husband").
    I did too, but I'm still married to him.
    Sunnie
    a dog show & quilt addict
    www.buckhollow.net

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