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Thread: Garden snake warning - enjoy & be careful!

  1. #1
    Super Member ljptexas's Avatar
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    Post Garden snake warning - enjoy & be careful!

    GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

    Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

    A couple in Sweetwater,Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

    It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out & the wife saw it go under the sofa.

    She let out a very loud scream.

    The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

    He got down on the floor on his hands & knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed & fell over on the floor.

    His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

    The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher & started carrying him out.

    About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa & one of the EMTs saw it & dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg & why he is still in the hospital.

    The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper & began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone & told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

    But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed & fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

    The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

    The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth & slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out & cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

    The noise woke the woman from her dead faint & she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen & got a small bottle of whiskey & began pouring it down the man's throat.

    By now, the police had arrived.

    Breathe here...

    They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey & assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

    The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor & his sobbing wife.

    Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa & one of the policemen drew his gun. He missed the snake & hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered & as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

    The other policeman tried to beat out the flames & fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out & raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it & smashed into the parked police car.

    Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes & called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power & disconnected the telephones in a 10-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

    Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car & all was right with their world.

    A while later they were watching TV & the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

    And that's when he shot her.
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    Super Member mike'sgirl's Avatar
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    Ha ha ha! That's too funny.

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    Super Member Tiggersmom's Avatar
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    That's too funny!!!!!!!!!

    When I get on my big computer I will copy this and send it to friends and dh.
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    Love it.

    I do not usually share jokes but I immediately copied and sent this one to my father in law. He loves a good story.
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    I laughed til I cried. I've copied it to forward to some friends and my hubby!

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    Super Member sparkys_mom's Avatar
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    That's too funny. I'll have to share this one.

    On a side note, I actually DID bring a little snake into the house with a potted plant and he did wake up when he got warm, slithered out of the pot and gave me quite a start but MY story ends with that.
    Pat

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    I'm still laughing and probably will be for a while

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    That is so funny.

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    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    goodness gracious, what town to they live in? So very cute. I have one of those little snakes in my yard. I do hope he never gets into my house!!!

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    I've heard this before years ago on the radio while getting ready for work one morning and was rolling with laughter. Needles to say I was a little late that morning. Your version however is a little more involved. So needless to say once again I was rolling in laughter. BTW I was raised 20 miles west of Sweetwater TX.

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    Thanks for a morning laugh!

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    Super Member Wanabee Quiltin's Avatar
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    DH and I had our morning laugh over this one. Thanks.

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    Super Member wendiq's Avatar
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    Oh My! That's so funny! Sure supplied my morning giggle! Beware the garden snake....HeeHee!!!

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    Super Member Quilty-Louise's Avatar
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    Thanks for the great laugh today.
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    I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. -My backyard is like a Garter Snake haven, I start the lawn mower on the driveway so they have time to seek safety under the back porch. So far none have made it into the house.

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    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    loved it. LMAO!!!!!
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    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    That's a great laugh! Now I've got my tea spilled all down my front! Maybe I need the ambulance!
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    Senior Member BARES's Avatar
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    I think I read that carefully - but I was laughing so hard that I may have missed it. Did they get the culprit (snake) that originally caused the commotion? Is he still hiding in the sofa? Cop shot at him and missed and the snake is never heard from again. I would be afraid the sneaky snake would still be there, hiding.

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    I kept imagining this being reported by the guy on Hee Haw that did the news. You remember, in his long underwear shirt? Great story, by the way.
    Those little bright green snakes are my favorite. When I was doing counseling with kids, I caught one while on a walk with a little boy client who was afraid of snakes. After much coaxing and encouragement, he wanted to carry it back to the house and show his mom. I did not realize just how very scared of snakes his mom was, and the panic that ensued could have equalled your story. I nearly lost my job from it.
    But I still love those little green snakes!

  21. #21
    Super Member caspharm's Avatar
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    That's funny. I

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    Super Member Judith1005's Avatar
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    Ha, Ha, Ha, thanks for the laugh. Sorry, this tickled my funny bone. And, I could so see this happening at my house if a snake got in. Note to self, put the plants in the garage. NOT the house.
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    Junior Member jumpin' judy's Avatar
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    I am choking, laughing, and crying all at the same time. Sweetwater has a rattlesnake roundup every year. I'd scream too if I lived there and found a snake in the house.
    ​Jumpin' Judy

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    That's a hilarious story. Thanks for a good laugh today!

  25. #25
    BCM
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    Thanks for sharing. Can't help but laugh.

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