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Thread: Instructions....In Honor of Stupid People....funny

  1. #51
    Senior Member stefanib123's Avatar
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    I've been reading these out loud to my kids, and they are cracking up! LOL!

    Thanks for posting these, we needed a good laugh!

  2. #52
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I came across one on a package of frozen blueberries --
    "use only as much as you need." Well it was a 3 pound bag, so I guess some people go overboard.

  3. #53
    Super Member Colbaltjars62's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    In Honor of Stupid People . . . .

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer --
    Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!
    No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)

    On a bar of
    Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be???....)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners --
    "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's just a suggestion.)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
    "Do not turn upside down."
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????...)


    On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
    "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn'tn't this save me time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
    "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid --
    "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (..I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights --
    "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)

    On a Japanese food processor --
    "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
    Open packet, eat nuts."
    (Say what?)

    On a child's Superman costume--
    "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

    On a Swedish chainsaw --
    "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
    Morning Ditter,
    It looks like you have recovered from the 5 year old GD's visit. Hope you are well rested..
    :lol:

  4. #54
    Senior Member BARES's Avatar
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    What were you supposed to do after you got what you needed, pass them along to someone else to get what they needed?

    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    I came across one on a package of frozen blueberries --
    "use only as much as you need." Well it was a 3 pound bag, so I guess some people go overboard.

  5. #55
    Super Member hperttula123's Avatar
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    those are funny.

  6. #56
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gramof6
    :D And to think there are people that actually need these warnings. :D And they repoduce!!! :roll:
    And they vote!
    Jan in VA

  7. #57
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
    On a child's Superman costume-- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    -----------------------------------------
    This actually does happen. Once my youngest as a child pinned a towel around her neck, climbed onto the table and yelled that she was Superman (didn't have such a good grasp of DNA at that age) and leaped from the table to the floor. The flight was successful, but the landing left a lot to be desired, since she hit the chair on the way down, and had a black eye by the time we got to ER. I almost got pulled in by CPS, but she was always talkative and was thoroughly ticked off because she couldn't fly like Superman on TV and told the ER doctor in great detail about it. ALL about it, over and over, she was really mad at Superman and not her own stupidity. (Now she's a 50 year old school teacher and highly intelligent!!!)
    I had gone to answer the phone and thought she was busy trying to pin the towel around the dog's neck for a bandanna.
    And then there was the time other daughter put a bean in her ear....well, perhaps some of these labels ARE really necessary!!!!
    Good grief! I must have had really dull daughters!
    Of course, I do remember reading somewhere that having children was like trying to nail jello to a tree.
    Jan in VA

  8. #58
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    :roll:

    Some people are born to it, others really work at it...... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  9. #59
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    :-(



    Now that really scares me !!

  10. #60
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    Thank you so much for your posts, they make my day. These are so funny. As they say, you can't fix stupid.

  11. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by dakotamaid
    Oh my, I had my laugh for today, so did hubby!

    However, It is the stupid lawyers in this country that have made some of those stupid instructions necessary!
    It's not the stupid lawyers, it's the sleazy ones that will take any kind of case and run with it.

  12. #62

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    i agree. you want hot coffee, it's gonna be hot, o and then you spill it on yourself and sue mcdonalds for it being hot??? DUH award right there... :)

  13. #63
    Junior Member momski's Avatar
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    This totally made my night! LOL

  14. #64
    Dee
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    Super Member Dee's Avatar
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    So funny, but to think these warnings were put on these products and others because they really happened. Thats how products get stupid warnings.

  15. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
    On a child's Superman costume-- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    -----------------------------------------
    This actually does happen. Once my youngest as a child pinned a towel around her neck, climbed onto the table and yelled that she was Superman (didn't have such a good grasp of DNA at that age) and leaped from the table to the floor. The flight was successful, but the landing left a lot to be desired, since she hit the chair on the way down, and had a black eye by the time we got to ER. I almost got pulled in by CPS, but she was always talkative and was thoroughly ticked off because she couldn't fly like Superman on TV and told the ER doctor in great detail about it. ALL about it, over and over, she was really mad at Superman and not her own stupidity. (Now she's a 50 year old school teacher and highly intelligent!!!)
    I had gone to answer the phone and thought she was busy trying to pin the towel around the dog's neck for a bandanna.
    And then there was the time other daughter put a bean in her ear....well, perhaps some of these labels ARE really necessary!!!!
    Ramona, your Superman story reminded me of my oldest daughter's stunt when she was 4 years old. I was in the kitchen when I heard her screaming outside and ran to see what happened...Her mouth was bleeding, but I didn't know what she had fallen on, and she wouldn't tell me. However, My sister, who is a school teacher, has a way of getting kids to talk and she asked my daughter what she was doing when she got hurt. Her answer? "I was pretending to be Peter Pan and wanted to fly up the front steps." The front steps were cement!
    Sadly, my daughter passed away, but what memories we have! :-)

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