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Thread: loneliness in liberation

  1. #1
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    loneliness in liberation

    When you stray away from the norm (pick your platform), does the exhilaration and discovery make up for the less than understanding attitudes of your peers?
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  2. #2
    Super Member alwayslearning's Avatar
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    You could spend all your time explaining yourself, or you could truly enjoy the exhilaration and discovery. My attitude is do not apologize for growing if someone else wants to wallow. Be kind, but be yourself and enjoy.
    "Only those who know enough is enough can ever have enough." Lao Tzu

  3. #3
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    good answer ;-) I have no peers, but i see a lot of people struggling with this. well, I guess my family members are my peers, but they just wait to see what happens next. I am lucky that way.
    Last edited by DebraK; 03-09-2013 at 07:32 AM.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

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    Super Member Rose Marie's Avatar
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    Never try to push your beliefs on others. It dosnt work just makes ruffled feathers.

  5. #5
    Super Member willferg's Avatar
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    Your post makes me think...that you can be alone and not lonely, and you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Doing what feels right isn't always easy, but it beats the alternatives.
    People who start projects and never finish them are cooler
    than people who never start projects at all.


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  6. #6
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    Yes! I think you tapped into my stream of consciousness this morning. Thank you for your input ;-)
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

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    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    oh, i'm sorry if that is happening to you, whether you are the one pushing or being pushed upon. The question was more about how one grows. How we look at one another. sorry, being way to philosophical this morning ;-)

    thank you for your input.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  8. #8
    Super Member Sierra's Avatar
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    Do what you feel called to do! Dive in and revel at each new discovery you make. Always be kind, both to others that don't understand where you are going AND to yourself. We are each wired in our own way and to try to be like those around you, when it just isn't true, is cheating yourself!

    I'm always pushing (on this board) the idea of trying out new ideas and getting away from patterns... must drive some people crazy...., but I haven't found a quilt that I wanted to make "exactly like that". I love to quilt, but I'm really in love with doing whatever my instincts tell me to do. Does everyone like my quilts? No, but that's OK. I don't love every quilt I see.
    Last edited by Sierra; 03-09-2013 at 08:05 AM.

  9. #9
    Super Member Luv Quilts and Cats's Avatar
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    Yes, I think ti exhilaration and discovery make up for many things. I didn't begin to be my own person until my early 30's with the help of some very wise people. It is far better to be yourself, quirks and all, than to try to be what someone else says you should be. It is far more freeing, the journey can be scary but it's worth it!
    Luv Quilts and Cats
    Never underestimate the healing effects of beauty. - Florence Nightingale

  10. #10
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    loving all these answers! thank you.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  11. #11
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    I love your signature. Says it all!
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  12. #12
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    It is exciting but don't expect others to share in your enthusiasm. It is really wonderful when other like minded peers join in but I try it to let it dampen my spirits if I am the only one excited.

  13. #13
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    I think removing yourself from expectations may be the freeing part. This is not so much about me, or quilting, but the idea. That is why I put this post in this forum.
    I have a friend who just lost her husband to a long illness and she is struggling to find herself, but honestly, she is only one soul I see struggling with ideas out of the "norm". thank you for your input.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  14. #14
    Super Member crafty pat's Avatar
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    To ones on self be true, if not one does not find true happiness. I answer to no one but God for who I am and what I do. How others look at me is not important to me or them, I leave others to their own life to live as they choose.

  15. #15
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    finding one's self is the tricky part. thank you for your input. I appreciate your view.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  16. #16
    Senior Member quiltmau's Avatar
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    freedom is in being who you are regardless of where you are. Being not accepted because you don't 'believe' as others around you 'believe'-live as others live-be as others be, is not an excuse to betray yourself or who you are.
    A person is an unique being and is not meant to be a carbon copy of others. Enjoy who you are and pity those who can't be.
    Alone is NOT loneliness!

  17. #17
    Super Member IBQUILTIN's Avatar
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    None of us fits into anyone's mold. Be happy with who you are

  18. #18
    QM
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    Power Poster QM's Avatar
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    I have always been my own person. At times, this has caused me real problems. Overall, I am very happy with the results.

  19. #19
    Super Member quiltmom04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DebraK View Post
    When you stray away from the norm (pick your platform), does the exhilaration and discovery make up for the less than understanding attitudes of your peers?
    I guess that would depend on whether you " stray from the norm" because you want to discover something , or just to force a reaction. I sure we all know individuals who do THAT for attention, and it really is annoying.

  20. #20
    Super Member retrogirl02's Avatar
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    are you referring to liberated quilting or life in general?
    OVER THE RAINBOW JANE is the name of my Dear Baby Jane----though it should be poor, neglected & may never ever be finished baby jane!
    http://retrofabulous-retro.blogspot.com

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    Liberation can feel exhilarating but also frightening depending on what impact one's liberation has on one's personal or professional life. Thus all decisions need to be weighed according to possible effects. Consider a simple decision to do your own quilting rather than going to a customary professional quilter. You would feel great that you have done the quilting yourself, but you could have severely disappointed the prof. quilter who now might not be able to keep her child in dance lessons. It could even ruin a friendship if your quilter was a friend. Or in the very least you would feel guilt for knowing your liberating decision negatively impacted someone else.
    Just rambling on never have used a professional quilter. I only tried to point out that most of us do not live in a vacuum and all our decisions can have repercussions either positive or negative.
    Thanks for the opportunity to do some pondering. Have a great day.

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    Ah HA - but how do you get others from not pushing THEIR beliefs on to you??? WE are suppose to march to their drum, but completely stifle OUR personal growth and beliefs? We are all individuals, aren't we? There needs to be an island somewhere where we are able to be ourselves, and live how we are intended to live. Sharing ideas is wonderful, but not by suffication......ooo, I apologize for digressing....

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose Marie View Post
    Never try to push your beliefs on others. It dosnt work just makes ruffled feathers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by willferg View Post
    Your post makes me think...that you can be alone and not lonely, and you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Doing what feels right isn't always easy, but it beats the alternatives.
    I totally agree. I think sometimes you feel twice as lonely if there is someone who is there but not emotionally available to fill the spot they are supposed to. My ex took off over a yr ago after centering his life around staying late and drinking. He was rarely at the house if he was he was drinking or you knew that was what he wanted to do. I limit the drinking in my house. Long list of alcoholics in my family, father, husband and even grown kids. I was surprised at how much better I felt once he moved out. I got to enjoy being at my house when no one was there. I even hesitated for a second when my son had to move back in. Of course I let him but I'm happy that him and his family are rarely there or they mainly hang out in their room so I'm still alone but rarely lonely. I'd love to meet someone to be able to have someone to do things with but not in a hurry to give up my alone time.
    Judy

  24. #24
    Super Member quiltmom04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bibi View Post
    Liberation can feel exhilarating but also frightening depending on what impact one's liberation has on one's personal or professional life. Thus all decisions need to be weighed according to possible effects. Consider a simple decision to do your own quilting rather than going to a customary professional quilter. You would feel great that you have done the quilting yourself, but you could have severely disappointed the prof. quilter who now might not be able to keep her child in dance lessons. It could even ruin a friendship if your quilter was a friend. Or in the very least you would feel guilt for knowing your liberating decision negatively impacted someone else.
    Just rambling on never have used a professional quilter. I only tried to point out that most of us do not live in a vacuum and all our decisions can have repercussions either positive or negative.
    Thanks for the opportunity to do some pondering. Have a great day.
    I LOVE your response! When we're patting ourselves on the back for not shopping at one store or another or encouraging others to do for themselves instead of hiring someone, we forget, like you said, that others do those things for an income! We forget that this economy is based on goods and services, and if we don't use those goods and services, many people lose an income. I'm not saying that you have to pay for all kinds of things, but certainly don't get in your high horse about folks who are willing to pay for someone to long arm a quilt, clean their house or decorate a birthday cake.

  25. #25
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwayslearning View Post
    You could spend all your time explaining yourself, or you could truly enjoy the exhilaration and discovery. My attitude is do not apologize for growing if someone else wants to wallow. Be kind, but be yourself and enjoy.
    Exactly, well said and very well put ..
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

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