for my southern friends
03-27-2011, 06:33 AM
#1
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,980
Having spent the winter in Alabama and now heading home to Vermont, I thought I would share this.
Advice for Northerners Visiting or Moving to the Southern States
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel- drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "ya'll" is singular, "all ya'll" is plural, and "all ya'll's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?
" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin'" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, ya'll, watch this," stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that this is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen. Or that their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Advice for Northerners Visiting or Moving to the Southern States
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel- drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "ya'll" is singular, "all ya'll" is plural, and "all ya'll's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?
" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy." Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin'" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, ya'll, watch this," stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that this is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns and are proficient marksmen. Or that their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
03-27-2011, 06:47 AM
#4
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,221
Loved this!
I lived in Alabama during my early childhood years, can't say I ever said "big ol'" anything, though I do remember saying "I'm fixin' to!" a lot.
IMO, "y'all" is one of the greatest, most useful words in southern English.
Last, about those stores that sell bait, movies and food, I remember one up in northern New Hampshire. I rented the movies and bought food, too. It's okay, as long as the bait isn't in the same case as the food!
I lived in Alabama during my early childhood years, can't say I ever said "big ol'" anything, though I do remember saying "I'm fixin' to!" a lot.
IMO, "y'all" is one of the greatest, most useful words in southern English.
Last, about those stores that sell bait, movies and food, I remember one up in northern New Hampshire. I rented the movies and bought food, too. It's okay, as long as the bait isn't in the same case as the food!
03-27-2011, 07:07 AM
#8
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,980
I'm Fixing To is a great expression and a lot shorter than what you would normally say. I use it a lot.
And I'm from New England so it is soda or tonic.
Now how about carry - as in, My car was broke so my neighbor carried me to the store.
And I'm from New England so it is soda or tonic.
Now how about carry - as in, My car was broke so my neighbor carried me to the store.
03-27-2011, 07:48 AM
#10
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,524
Originally Posted by nativetexan
Ha, ha, ha. good ones. now if i could just get people everywhere to say bring when they say "take" incorrectly, i'd be a very happy Southerner! ya'll!!!
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