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Thread: Online funeral guestbooks

  1. #1
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Online funeral guestbooks

    Do you expess your condolences on an online "guestbook"??

    I do, if it is someone who is not in my immediate social circle. Otherwise, i will snail-mail a card. But I admit to wondering if this is less personal. ??
    Sandy
    Sandygirl

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  2. #2
    Power Poster QuiltE's Avatar
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    I don't ... my sentiments are for the family of the bereaved and not for everyone in the world to see and know what I have said!
    I'll send a card or cards (as appropriate) ... and/or reach out to them IRL at the visitation, funeral and before or after both ... again as appropriate, according to my connection to them.
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  3. #3
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    i feel that funerals are a very personal matter and require human interaction. if in person is not possible, then a personally written note is the next best thing.
    Nancy in western NY
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  4. #4
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    My uncle who was a former football coach died and many of his former students express their admiration for him and how he affected their lives. I think it was a nice tribute to him for the world to see. The former students may have sent private messages to the family also.

  5. #5
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I had a very dear friend die and I did leave condolences on the funeral home's questbook. I really just knew her and not anyone else. We emailed and visited several times, knew each other about 6 yrs. She lived about 7-8 hours away. I would have felt very out of place.
    I sent her Daughter and family a card with a personal note and her grown Granddaughter a personal card too.
    Not every funeral is close by.
    Another Phyllis
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  6. #6
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    When I can't go to a funeral I try to send flowers. When it is someone I just barely knew but I want the family to know I'm sorry that they died then I send a sympathy card. The on line stuff just seems too quick and impersonal, like something you would do standing in line at the grocery check out or something.

    The only way I'll drop 10 pounds is to go shopping in England. - Maxine-

  7. #7
    Super Member Jill's Avatar
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    When my sister passed away last year she had requested a private service for family only. She was well-known in her community and many people sent online comments about how she had affected their lives. Many also sent cards. I enjoyed reading the comments because of the comfort it gave me knowing she was so well-loved by many people.

  8. #8
    Super Member Teddybear Lady's Avatar
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    I've only commented one time on a funeral home's guestbook. It was for an Art teacher I had when I was in 7th grade. I didn't know her family, but I wanted them to know she meant a lot to me and taught me a lot of things about Art. The family acknowledged the postings, thanking everyone for remembering their loved one.

  9. #9
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    After loosing several family members in less than 2 years I would like to say this I really llike a personal card or note the best they seem so much more personal AND correspondance with a return address makes it so much easier when you set down to write out all them cards and thank yous

  10. #10
    Member sewrkristy's Avatar
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    One of my dearest older friends had an online guestbook. I wrote a quick note about how wonderful she was and a personal childhood memory. I wanted to celebrate her life. It was the perfect place for that.

  11. #11
    Super Member patski's Avatar
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    I also have signed the "on line" book but send a card as well. It gives that immediate comfort and the card follows. I know I have had losses and any kind words were welcome no matter on line, card or in person
    Patski
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  12. #12
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    Mom has advanced alz. Found out one of her best friends died and I was a classmate of her son. I did on line comment mentioning how grateful I was for the friendship the two had while living in the same town. His mom was so helpful to my mom when Dad died. Just felt he needed to know that.
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  13. #13
    Super Member alwayslearning's Avatar
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    I use the on-line guest book often when it is someone I knew or a family member of someone I knew from my home town. I moved away over forty years ago and I do not have current addresses, I hope it gives the family some comfort to know that someone from their past cared enough to say something positive. I was very moved, when my father died, that people who had been neighbors before I was born (and at that time I was in my late 30's) reached out to the family. The only negative has been, I was contacted be an old boyfriend.
    "Only those who know enough is enough can ever have enough." Lao Tzu

  14. #14
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    I know that when the online condolence came into existence, I was not comfortable with the idea of posting to them. With this said, it allows people to post their condolences when maybe they would never get around to sending a card or even know where to send the card.

    I enjoyed reading the online comments. They were still just as comforting to me when my beloved mother passed in 1999. And, yes, if it is someone in my "circle", i make a point to snail mail a card vs the online. Or maybe both!

    Sandy
    Sandygirl

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  15. #15
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    I've done both. My my father died it was so nice to read online the many comments people who knew him made.
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  16. #16
    Super Member duckydo's Avatar
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    My husband and I go to TX in the winter months, and being able to sign the guest book online is wonderful for me. I do send a snail mail card also, but I think the families appreciate the guest book signing if you are unable to attend.

  17. #17
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    We have family in several different countries. For the most part all our communication is online. I do not have postal addresses for most of them.

    I have sent online condolences when former classmates family members have died too. I have not seen these people for over 30 years, but want to acknowledge their loss.

    I know there is a generation that feels only hand written communication is meaningful. That is what was taught when they were growing up. But even then, a telegram received at a wedding or funeral was considered a very special and extravagant gesture.

    Email, online condolences etc have only been around a short time, but they are to this 40 something valid forms of communication.
    Attending University. I will graduate a year after my son and year before my daughter.

  18. #18
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    I don't care for them. The things I remember most when my son died after college were the hugs and personal notes I received in the mail and people who came to the house and the funeral. I didn't even think of going online.

  19. #19
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    I have had several family pass on and received comments from the on line guest books. I was glad to hear from people I had lost touch with. There were comments, however, from complete strangers which was odd.

  20. #20
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    I think it all depends on the situation. Many times I do not have an address especially if they are in rural areas. I think it is a wonderful way to say something positive about the person.

  21. #21
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    When my Dad passed, we LOVED the online condolences. Many people don't have addresses anymore and to us, it was a wonderful way to hear from old friends from school, former neighbors, etc.

  22. #22
    Super Member TacoMama's Avatar
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    I have done it because sometimes I cannot make the funeral home visit or it is too far to go and I want the family to know asap that I am thinking about them. I have some health problems and it is hard sometimes to get out.

  23. #23
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    I didn't even know this existed. I do always send cards.

  24. #24
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    I usually send a card, but there have been times when I've found about someone's passing several weeks after the fact. Usually these online books stay open for a year, so I'll use it then.

  25. #25
    Super Member milikaa1's Avatar
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    I think it is a personal choice, it does not bother me if someone does it, but I think that with the technology we have today it is easier to just use the computer, it is fast, but I like to send a card, it is so personal, you took the time to pick out a card and hand write you sentiments....

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