Emma S

Health issues are always difficult and change is never easy but I wonder how many people find things harder to deal with this time of year. The days are short and frequently grey. I realize living in WI you don't have many chances to get exercise or to get outside but both might help you. I am so sorry that you are feeling so down, my thoughts are with you.

Jan in VA

I experienced a similar life experience and I offer this wisdom.

I had arthritis of the lower spine with bone spurs in my hips. But I put off and put off seeing an orthopedic surgeon until I was in such pain that my daily life was seriously affected and I was on narcotic pain pills every day.

Finally, years late, I was scheduled for total hip replacement which I had this past November. In less than four weeks I was virtually pain free in that hip, a miracle. That improved my spirits so much that I am starting a new little part-time job, and that will improve my income a little for play funds.

Sometimes when you don't feel good you don't even realize how much that is affecting every part of your mood and life. Go see a doctor. Get a plan for solving some of the issues. Then decide what you want to do, can do, will allow to be done, to help.

Your mother's body is not your body; you have her genes not her whole body/persona. How you handle your problems is and will be different than how she deals with hers. Handle the physical parts of your life that require professional help and then get on to dealing with attitude and spirit.

Best to you in this endeavor.

Jan in VA

maryb119

As the mom of 6 with only 1 kids still at home, I can tell you that they never really leave. They just come back and bring more people with them like significant others and then later grandkids. Our family has grown from 8 to 24 in just 14 years. Enjoy the time you have with her now.

Sheila_H

Focus on today one day at a time, I know how you feel I'm turning 49 but my body today feels like I'm 69. It's very cold here today so my shoulder hurts, my hips, my back, my legs. The one thing that keeps me going is aqua fitness classes as it's too much for my body to handle in Zumba or other classes that I'd love to do, and right after swimming there's a big hot tub that's all I'm focused on this weekend, Monday I will be in a hot tub at some point lol
Try just going for a walk around the neighborhood with your daughter, don't push your body to do more than it can do you don't want to risk a serious injury. My daughter's didn't leave home until late in their teens to go to university, they know there's an open door policy here at the house they can come and go as they please and they do. What things does your daughter like to do that you can do with her? My mother who is turning 69 just started doing yoga classes and tai chi. Best advice I can give you is just take things one day at a time, enjoy today because we don't know what tomorrow will bring.

BellaBoo

Get a puppy. Everyone needs young life around them to feel alive.

margoee

Thanks so much for all the hugs and words of encouragment, ladies. I must learn to take one day at a time and enjoy the fact that my mom is stlll with us and that my daughter is amazing.....
I plan on calling a doctor this month to get the ball rolling. I know the doc will want me to lose some weight if I need a hip replacement, so that will take some time. And I want to wait until my daughter is driving so she can get to school and her other activities....she'll be able to take her driver's test mid summer!
Thanks again....especially for the hugs and prayers.

Born2Sew

Well, I've been there done that and just about the time I figured out that it was a pretty dang good thing I moved my Mom in. Then about 6 months later I moved her brother (my uncle) in too. Both of them had houses that needed more work really than $$$ available. There were other reasons too, but the best solution for them was to move in with us.

Wow, I really really was enjoying the lower work load, the cheaper utility bills, being able to just run to town and grab a meal out instead of cooking all the time. I realized how much more "free" time I had to work on sewing, quilting, geneagloy, etc... Now anything that requires concentration is on the back burner.

Mom complains all the time about how bad her arthritis is and how she hurts, and yet seems to work circles around me.

My best advice: Don't worry about tomorrow, enjoy today. Try to exercise as much as you can, you'll be surprised how much it will help with pain. (Belive me I know, I have RA and OA.) Water exercise if you can do that is super fantastic for the body, a good stress reliever, and easier on the joints.

If you do end up with an empty nest, think of all the things you've wanted to do and couldn't for so long!

Hugs, and best wishes!

SUZAG

This is the part of getting older that really is not fair (that's not what I want to say)... You will get through this and it is hard, been there, done that. Look to your girlfriends for encouragement and strength. If you don't have any, find some! Join some groups, do some volunteering, etc. Most of all, take care of yourself, Mom and daughter and you will never be sorry. It will get better, trust me!

damaquilts

I so understand . This is NOT what I had planned at all. I was just thinking the other day. I turn 60 this year . How did that happen? lol My brain doesn't feel 60 , my minds eye doesn't see that woman I see in the mirror. Going from being an extremely active person one day,it seems, to someone who gets sooo exhausted just going up stairs , who can't go out at night,(I was always out and about) etc. I am not in a lot of pain so that is something to be thankful for. As far as being an empty nester I never felt that cause I only had my own place for a short time before my son moved back in , then another short time before I had to move in with DD and now since she lost her house with my brother and his daugher and granddaughter (17) . I would love to have a place all to my lonesome. lol

CharlotteO

A quote I once read that puts some things in perspective. "If you don't take care of you, you won't be able to take care of anyone else. Your self care comes first"