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Thread: Ponderisms.....funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Ponderisms

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    . Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
    Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE



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    2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)



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    3. OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?



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    4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?



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    5. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?



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    6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



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    7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?



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    8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?



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    9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?



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    10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?



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    11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?



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    12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?



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    13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?



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    14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?



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    15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.



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    16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?



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    17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
    Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?



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    18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?



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    19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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    21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?



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    22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?



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    23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?



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  2. #2
    Senior Member pheasantduster's Avatar
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    So funny - Ditter you always bring a chuckle - will pass a few of the 'gems' along to put a smile on someone else's face!

  3. #3
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    Love it again. Always good for a laugh

  4. #4
    Super Member Lynnejean's Avatar
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    thanks for the laugh or two of the day!

  5. #5
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter! :thumbup:

  6. #6
    Super Member quiltgrammyt2's Avatar
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    LOL!!
    Read them to Hubby,made him LOL!!!! :lol: :lol:

  7. #7
    Super Member wanderingcreek's Avatar
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    Another good laugh! Where do you find all of these? They make my day.

  8. #8
    Super Member Scissor Queen's Avatar
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    Here's one for you. If wool shrinks when you wash it, how come sheep don't shrink in the rain?

  9. #9
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    they would if it rained hot water!!

    Why do they put an expiration date on sour cream?? What is it going to do, get sweet again?

  10. #10
    Senior Member lighthouse's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laugh :-)

  11. #11
    Super Member pab58's Avatar
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    You never fail to make me giggle!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

  12. #12
    Super Member dixiebelle162002's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup:

  13. #13
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    :lol::lol::lol:

  14. #14
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    lol!

  15. #15
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    Thanks, Ditter. I really enjoyed these!!!

  16. #16
    Super Member quiltgrammyt2's Avatar
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    Just read these to my 20 year old son he was LOL!! :D :thumbup:

  17. #17
    Super Member Psychomomquilter's Avatar
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    Thanks I needed that this morning!

  18. #18
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    Thanks for sharing, you find the funniest things!!!

  19. #19

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    Those were not just Good, they were Great. Thanks again for keeping us laughing.

  20. #20
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    Girl....you just make my day! I look for your name first thing. Then I go back and check out everything else. KEEP THEM COMING............LORD KNOWS I NEED THE LAUGH !!!!!!!!!

  21. #21
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    Here's one to go with those, If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her a friend and if the #2 lead pencil is the best why isn't it #1?

  22. #22
    Junior Member ree-nee's Avatar
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    What a hoot!

  23. #23
    Junior Member QuiltingrandmafromMi's Avatar
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    Ditter,
    You just made my Sunday morning. Sitting here in lower Michigan with 20" of new snow, your ponderings made me laugh! Thanks for sharing!
    Attached Images Attached Images

  24. #24
    Super Member hikingquilter's Avatar
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    good ones!

  25. #25

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    Really enjoy these.
    Few more:
    Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
    If olive oil is made of olives and corn oil made from corn, what is baby oil made from?
    Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
    Do you EVER get off a non-stop flight?
    We have a washer and dryer, why not call it a sewer? (Or does that mean its in a sewer drain?)

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