I'm the primary care giver for my DMIL. She is in advanced stages. She can't hold a thought for a minute, ask the same questions over and over. Has trouble walking but can still get around with help! Thankfully she still has the sweetest spirit. We'll keep her at home as long as possible. It's by far the most difficult job I've ever had. May God bless for all you do.

I'm a CNA, so I'm by no means a medical expert. But in my experience, the normal thing with any kind of dementia (Alzheimer's is one kind of dementia.) is that there's no normal. That's the nature of this ugly beast. I will echo what someone else wrote that they kind of go into their own world, and it's up to us to enter their world, instead of vice versa. This can be very frustrating, and it requires LOTS of patience.

As to if your mom knows what's happening. Based on my experience, it seems that some people know "something's wrong." That's when they get agitated and start looking through papers, pacing from room to room, etc... trying to figure things out. They often will wander from their home looking for a bus to get to their childhood home or place of work. That can be very dangerous. But I've known other people who were fairly demented who I can say were perfectly happy and content in the present moment because they did not realize anything was wrong.

My heart goes out to you, Betty, and anyone else facing this difficulty.

Sorry that I got caught up in my own grief last night when responding to your questions. I hope I helped rather than depressed you even more. I also didn't mean to imply that it was fun in any way, I just hoped that you would see that I tried to make the most of the situation.

I believe that God has a plan for each of us and that in taking care of my mom, I was supposed to learn some things for my own life. I'm not sure that I learned the right things, but I know I learned lots of lessons and appreciated the time we had together. I loved her much more as a result of my caregiving.

I'll pray for you and all caregivers and please feel free to PM anytime if you think I can help you deal with the frustrations and heartache.

I was the primary care giver for my mom. I also ran a clinic for Alzheimer's patients that was housed within an 180 bed Alzheimer's facility.

It is a rough disease on all who are touched by it.

Bless you Julie. I know it's hard. I am doing the best I can but feel like I should be doing more. I have talked with the doctors and other professionals but they often talk in medical terms and provide me with the medical side of the illness and I needed more information about the day to day stuff. It was so nice to have the input from others who have been a primary care giver. God Bless you and good luck.

if she gets more odd behaviors after 3 in the afternoon that is called sundown syndrome. lots of people with dementia get "worse" as the day goes on. You must get away even for just an hour or two, it might be best for her if you do this in the mornings. feel free to PM me, if I can help I will,maybe not in person at least give advice. some nursing homes offer daycare in these situations that may be an option for you.

You are blessed for what you are doing.

As a teenager I saw my grandfather suffer from Alz. It sounds to me that your Mom has dementia and not ALZ. In Alz there is a slow regression in time in the mind of the patient. He started showing weird behavior like running away from home, playing funny tricks on us, eventually he forgot how to dress himself, go to the bathroom on his own, even walk. He dies 8 year later in fetal position.

Your Mom is going through a normal part of her life and the best you can do for her is to go along. Try to talk to her as much as possible and take advantage of the good days. Forget the bad ones. Her life is not passing by. I can understand you wishing to make her life brighter, but it is hard sometimes. Also don't forget to take care of yourself. If she gets mad because you went out, she will forget about it soon enough. Get help and take time off often. I saw my MOm take care of my grandma for 15 years and never took one day off. It was not fair to her.

Take care.

Oh ladies....all of your comments brought tears to my eyes. I was the primary caregiver to my mother, who had Alzheimers. We eventually had to put her in a home, and my Dad in another home. It turned out to be the best for both of them. I was in my early thirties, and was trying to raise two children and take care of parents in seperate facilities. I did figure out early that you DID have to try to be in whatever reality they were in at the time....it was a very hard thing, but got easier with time.
My prayers go out to you that are dealing with this terrible disease. Enjoy the good "moments" as they come.

I am going through this with my 89 year Mom. It is rough I am the only child. Pm me if you want.

My heart goes out to you. I have been a caregiver for several Alz people and when it isn't your family it is easier,
My SIL started ALZ in her 50s -- part of the effect of Lyme desease. She can still swallow but has forgotten how to feed herself. She is in a nursing home in a restricted Alz area. She has no idea who anyone is and is happy within her own little world.

Please try to get yourself some help. I know this board is here for you with love and hugs. We all have shoulders to lean on.