I'm currently caring for my precious MIL who is in advanced stages of Alzhiemers. She is 81 and the most incredible lady I've ever known. She never complains and always has a smile. I care for her 3 days per week and know that 3 will soon turn to 5 or more. She asks the same questions repeatedly and has problems finding her way around in her own home. She is unable to bath herself but she still feeds herself. She loves to watch me sew or crochet and comments over and over how lovely it is, even though she has lost most her vision. She occasionally threatens me with a switch if I don't sit next to her and sew. My FIL is 86 and also suffers from Alzhiemers, his isn't advanced as hers. I want to know if you have been in this situation and what has worked for you and your patient or family member. Tips or hints that might make her life easier.

I guess my question is what are the last stages and what can I expect? If you've been through this with a loved one what was it like for you? Thanks in advance for all replies.

may god be with you

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't answer your questions because my Grandmother was in a care facility until she passed, but I do know how difficult it is.

this runs thru my family. we get it while we r young , early 50's.
ask them stories about when they were young , ask them anything u might ever wanta know.just let them feel loved. it hurts u, not them, they will just fade away. healthy bodies live a long time. God Bless u and ur family.

LeeAnn, Go to Betty62's topics. She posted one on the same thing and got some wonderful tips.
You sound like a beautiful soul :)

I am also a care giver to my MIL, although she doesn't have Alzhiemer's diagnosis, she is starting to show tendancies towards it (she is also 81, but is alone FIL passed 6/14/08 during the flood), and contrary to belief, I love her (actually she has been more of a mother than my own). She can no longer bath herself, but does her own cooking, albeit frozen dinners (meals by Elder services), she doesn't do any shopping, but can fold her own laundry if we sort it for her. We do her housework, because it is much to difficult for her to try and use the vaccum or scrubbing the floors. I just wish she would call if she needs something instead of waiting, other DIL shares the duties with me, and sometimes forgets to set up MIL meds, so MIL went without until we just happended to stop by.

My Grandmother had it and from what you are describing, she (your MIL) isn't in the late stages of the disease. My GM got to the point where she reverted back (couldn't comprehend that her daughter, had adult children or grandchildren), which was very hard because she and I were very close all the while I was growing up. It was diffucult when she could no longer remember even her own children.

I applaud you for caring for them. Look for a local support group, for both you and your DH, there are many that assist in helping with the symptoms, the caregiver, and what to watch for. They are very helpful, hopefully you have someone to sahre this work with you so that you get a break it you need one.

http://www.quiltingboard.com/t-85625-1.htm

I was caregiver to DMIL for 7 years, bless you. It is a long journey. I will respond more on the other thread.

piney

Thanks, piney. I still haven't figured out how to do that!

It seems to vary from person to person how it affects them, but it is pretty much a gradual decline with good days and bad days all along, with eventally the bad days being almost every day, but I know my dad still had an occasional good day even the last month before he passed on. Some people seem to have repeated strokes or seizures, but that doesn't seem to be the case with others.
My aunt seemed to have a much greater degree of memory loss early on, while my grandfather and my dad had more of a tendancy to revisit the past, but still recognize us the rest of the time and be able to carry on a conversation.
My friend's sister who developed it very early in life (before she turned 50) had multiple seizures associated with hers and lost the ability to eat on her own fairly early as well.
The main thing is to love 'em, humor their idiosencricies (sp???), keep them comfortable, and take good care of yourself. When you find that you need help in caring for them, don't hesitate to ask for it. There's plenty available, from many different sources - family, friends, churches, local agencies of various types, etc. If you become a sole caregiver, be sure to get someone to relieve you periodically, even for a few hours daily or weekly, for the sake of your health(and sanity).

i worked in a home for alzheimers if you would like to call me for info just pm me and i will be happy to give you my number..i was trained by the alzheimer association

A friend of mine has her 94 yr old mother living with her. She's an only child and divorced with no children living at home so there's only her to care for her mother. Her mother is past the stage of speaking, has "frozen face syndrome" and has to wear Depends all the time. My friend bathes and dresses her mother. She was getting very worn out doing this on a 24/7 basis so she finally put her mother in an adult day care. It's only 4 or 5 hours a day, Mon-Fri but at least it gives her enough of a break that she can do her grocery shopping, get her hair done, and other errands that she needs to do. Usually she spend about an hour just going to the park and walking. You might check into something like that, I don't think it's too awfully expensive. The other thing is that you might find someone that's willing to help one or two days a week. That's usually pretty expensive though, depending on the area you live it could be anywhere from $10-$20 per hour. You asked about the stages of advancement--after my friends mother stopped speaking, she developed seizures--she would actually appear to be dead. The first time was very scary, now she takes it in stride with everything else. Her mother chokes easily and has to be watched constantly when eating. She said the frozen face syndrome is hard to deal with because her mother looks like she's extremely upset all the time. The corners of her mouth are drawn way down. However, she's still pleasant and seems to enjoy company. Sometimes I'm not sure she knows who I am--just someone that's come to see her and that seems to be good enough. I can't encourage you enough to try to get some relief help if only for a day or a couple of hours a day. It will help you take care of them longer.

One of the ladies on the board has written a book about her experiences of caring for her dad (?) with this disease. I believe the name of it is "Little Willie Won't Go Home". There's a sillouette of a man with a hunting rifle against a sunrise or sunset on the front. You might do a search on here to see if you can find it.

sorry you're having to deal with this. We helped my mom care for my dad who had alzheimers. It take a lot out of you. now mom's health is failing and we(my siblings and i)are helping her. check with your local agencies,catholic charities, office on aging, etc. whatever they are called in you area. There is assistance for the patient and respite care available. Not all is based on income-or lack of it. if your FIL was a vertern check with the VA, he should be eligable for aid. The forms are a bear to fill out but they should help you with it.
Accept any help that is offered. it will be good for you and her.

Where I used to live had "aging and adult services," which I imagine has different names in different places. It's basically a government agency with social workers who connect you and you MIL with resources you qualify for. You might want to see if you have something like that in your area. In my work I used to run into seniors who were bashful about receiving these services. I would try to tell them they worked for so many years and contributed to this system, so they deserve to be taken care of in their golden years.

I hope things work out for you and your MIL.

http://www.quiltingboard.com/t-65196-1.htm

THis is the posting that gives the name of the book that I was telling you about.