If they aren't normal feelings there are a few of us who are "abnormal" too. When my baby left for college in 2007 I thought my chest was going to burst with pain I was such a mess. Not only were the boys gone but now, for the first time in 20 years I was going to be ALONE with my husband! But, I have to tell you, it was a really wonderful 2 years! Then the oldest moved home for a year while applying to Med school and that was not easy. Now it was a "roommate" because he's not a kid anymore. In July, the oldest is moving into an apartment and starting school and I have to tell you, those feelings are coming back again. I'm teary eyed again, having trouble swallowing, the whole thing. But, believe me, when they are all home in the summer you'll be so happy.........for about 2 weeks!!

That's the way I feel also. Our four children had friends that didn't even know how to make a sandwich etc. so be proud that your child is ready to start on his own. When our youngest of four was getting ready to go to kindergarten, he said to me, " Mom you're going to be sooooo lonesome." Why? "Because you won't have anyone to talk to any more!" True, but a little quiet is good for the soul and the creative juices.

well so far mine are at home for the most part. Oldest is 21 and does not plan on moving out till she gets married in about 2 years they say. DD #2 though is gone for the summer working at a camp 12 hours away. We took her up there and oh it was SO hard leaving her. Then she called last week in tears. As much as part of me wanted to say I"m on my way I knew I had to tell her buck up and survive it. I sometimes go in her room though and just look. I miss her! She and I are very close and its rough her being gone. She was my starbucks buddy the few times I can afford it! But they are not here to stay with me forever. I have the kind of mother that would still tell me what to cook for supper every night if allowed and I am determined to raise my kids to do their own thing and not interfere......well not too much :-)

My dd also just graduated and will be heading out this fall. My son chose to go 800 miles away to college. My daughter has chosen one 1600 miles away!!! So I will not see her until Christmas! But I know she has chosen a great college for her and she will be just fine! Yes, I will miss her. But I tell myself that it will give me lots of time to quilt and read. And I will have one more place to travel occasionally (I love to travel when I have the money). Although with 2 kids in college I may not have much extra traveling funds! Be strong and we will all be here for you!

The first is the hardest I think. I too cried all the way home from Amherst, MA when he left for college. This Dec. my youngest graduated from college and, after 44 years, I FINALLY have an empty nest. I was beginning to think it would never happen.

I feel your pain. When my oldest moved away to college, she got terribly homesick and for the first two weeks she called us every few hours, crying, begging to come home. She was mainly exhausted, not being able to sleep in a noisy dorm. After she got used to it, there was no problem. But of course it was SO hard to tell her she had to stay. We knew she would love it once she felt more comfortable there. The other daughter went three years later, but to the same school, so they lived together, which made me feel a little better, but it was still tough to let them go.

Right now I'm sobbing inside for a friend whose triplets (2 girls, 1 boy) just graduated and will all go away to school in the fall. Her house will be so empty and quiet! She's been a stay-at-home mom since they were born, so will really miss them terribly.

After 16 years of homeschooling, I have closed my school -- I am out of students! One is 6.5 hours away at school and the other will be only an hour away (and dorming).

I thought I would nip ENS in the bud by taking classes to get my teacher certification and getting a teaching job in Fall. I finished my classes, passed my teacher certification exams, and haven't had a job offer, yet.

16 years and 2 honor students don't seem to mean much to public school administrators. So...I've gone through my quilting stash, have organized my UFOs, and I am going to quilt (instead of just dabble in quilting and read about other quilters' projects). I'm also going to sign up to substitute teach (and use my money to go to the Houston Quilt Show and then I'm going to buy a KAYAK so I can go kayaking with my DH!)

My antidote for ENS, don't let the nest stay empty. Fill the nest with things that are important to you!

JKMom,
That is so true, don't let the nest stay empty. Take classes, volunteer. I volunteered for an animal rescue, learned how to quilt, paint, garden etc. These are things I didn't have time for when my kids were home. Your time is your own now.

You're very normal. When our first left home to go in the Army, my husband created a shrine of pictures of him on the TV. You'd of thought the son was gone forever. My daughter and I would laugh about it all the time. When our daughter went to college it was okay at the time because she was only 2 hours away. Now when they come home to visit, we love to see them, but it's nice when we have the house to ourselves again! Let's say, you get used to the new living arrangements!

I know how you feel. When our "only" moved to go to college the house seemed so empty. I didn't want hubby see me cry, that first evening after he went to sleep, I went into the bathroom and had a good cry. Next day, hubby said, lets make you a sewing room. Don't worry what you're feeling is normal and it will get easier.

Don't be too sad, all three of my mine left and came back, left and came back, left...

I got a dog.

Love that. My second has left and come back so many times that we thought about putting a revolving door in. :-(

Your dog is beautiful!

Thanks, he's like one of the kids. Getting older though and we know days are counting down.

You will get over it shortly. It is quite normal to feel the way you do as part of you life is changing also. After a short time you will adjust and just do more quilting. lol

Very normal. First one went across the country to college. Had the second one left. He went across the country in the other direction. That was harder because the house was empty. Hubby and pets at home, but, different. AFter some weeping, things got better and I had a new normal.

Very true! This thought helped me many times, as my three left home in quick succession.

gee i envy you i cant get mine to stay away once they leave i have a house full now sister in law son and friend other son unbiological son and girlfriend gosh i would love the peace and quite

oh those days. yes I missed my DD only one when she left for college. first year not allowed to have a car at school. we did the trek each fri and brought her back on sunday. (2 hrs.) as a sophmore she had her car and the weekends home were cut in half. mostly she came with friends. junior year holidays home. senior year most holidays home thn came trips with friends. She came back to help us pack up for our move to NH. DH said"how does her sleeping till noon help us pack and move?" lol we now live in NH and she is 45 mins away..a great job but yet she still comes around with laundry.lol
I did and do cherish the quiet homenow. send goody packages often even if he is close. pack enough for him to share. get to know his friends and their parents on family weekends. you'd be surprises how much INFO you can get from another mother. good luck

Since you're on the board, I'd say that you like to quilt...Get busy and he'll be home for breaks before you know it! Shopping for fabric, sewing and piecing and quilting, how fun is that? :) Actually, I'm looking forward to having all the space! :)

All I can say is that it does get better, truly. May I also suggest that you find this book, "Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years." (http://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Fif...6553381&sr=1-1) I found it very helpful in knowing what to expect -- both at my end and for my son.

Many years have passed since my oldest left home. I divorced, went back to school myself, and then met and married a most wonderful man. I treasure the time we have together "just us," as well as when one or the other of our children / grandchildren come to visit. You'll get there, too. [Hopefully you won't have to take as many steps to get there as I did, though!]

In the meantime, think of all the time you have to quilt now!! :lol:

Wow...you just made me feel a lot better.

My baby will be 17 on the 30th. He will be a junior this next school. I am totally dreading his graduation. His brother & sister were 16 & 11 when he was born so he is like an only child now. I will be a basket case when the day comes. He is my everything. He wants to play college football so I don't know where he may end up. Could be out of state but where ever mama is gonna be close by some how. I feel your pain, I know we have to let them grow up but it is so hard. I forgot to mention that he is diabetic so that makes it even harder as I worry about him so much more. Hugs

We work so hard to make them independent and then grieve when they are. Life can be such hoot sometimes. When our oldest and only daughter moved out I waved with a smile on my face until they were out of site. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried till I was sick. It was the same with our boys. But one or another have been in and out for a while. Now have our youngest and his 2 year old son. I know this will not last forever, so I just try to enjoy each day. Some days it's harder than others, cause we are geting set in our ways, but it's doable. Just let yourself have one good cry then pull it together and start a new quilt and say a prayer with each stitch!! That will help both of you.

When my middle daughter went from CO to WA to go to college, I'd cry every time I walked by her room. It took me a couple of weeks (or so) and a few kicks in the butt to get over it! She was the first to leave the nest. It wasn't as hard with the third one.

I made it through my baby saying "I want to join the Navy" even though the vietnam war was the big thing as I was growing up. Through his experience I learned how very different things are now.
You'll be fine. You'll be Mom forever and can always have pride looking back and seeing what you've accomplished, a son to be proud of! I was kind of sad but then realized, this will always be a 'soft place to fall,' so many kids don't even have that

I can totally relate to your feelings having seen our three children leave home to go to college. The summer before the first one left was so exciting for me. We spent a great deal of time shopping for linens and things she would need for her dorm room. As the day to leave approached, I was just as happy and excited as she was until.........we dropped her off and I saw her wave from her second story window....WOW----what a wave of emotions and reality set in. I cried all the way home (and it was a four hour ride......)

It was hard for awhile, I won't argue with you. At least, when the the next two went away I was better prepared. I always said that communities should have support groups for mothers of children going off to college.

But, I was and am very proud of the people they have become. I still keep in close contact with all three. Seeing your children grow up and make choices about life partners and jobs and such is exciting! You'll like that part. In the meantime, keep busy and please know that you are not alone and that your feelings are quite normal to boot!

(as a postscript, I have to add that for various reasons each of the three came home for extended visits that lasted months----the boomerang phenomena of this generation!)

I am feeling much better, as well. You have been very helpful. Quiltin' Lady, I'll look for that book - sounds like just what I need.

Yesterday, DS said to me in a happy, goofy tone: "Momma, I'd gonna miss you next year." Guess we are both adjusting to the idea. (I do have to add, he's been a lot more pleasant to be around since the grad. and orientation is out of the way,hope it lasts).

Seven days until I can concentrate on quilting...yippee.

I am so glad you started this thread as I am also going thru this.
Our family is a mixed group - he had 3 and I had 3 when we got together, after 3 years we had our son. As each one grew up and moved away my heart would crack a little, I would spend sleepless nights and worry but would eventually adjust as I found that they were doing all right and were really not that far away. This year our youngest graduated from high school, he left Saturday for his first job as a summer camp counselor 5 hours away and would not hear of us driving down with him, He will be home in about 6 weeks long enough to get things together to leave for college at least 6 hours away. My head tells me all the things that you are saying, I should be proud and happy that he can go but my heart is breaking in half. It feels like this is going to be one of this things that I will not easily adjust to.

Hang tough Katie. My day is coming & I'm not real happy about it either. :thumbup:

Time for fur babies, everyone!!

Katie -
I do know just how you feel. Glad I dared to start this post, almost didn't. Didn't want anyone to think I was whining. Sometimes the head says one thing and the heart another. As a wise person said to me, our feelings don't always make sense. They just are.
:)lots2do

If he's anything like my sons, He will time his visits home regularly. My son managed to make it home when he ran out of clean cloths and when he needed a hair cut.

When my oldest Graduated high school, I cried so hard all day that I couldn't go to the ceremony. it hit me like a brick wall that day. hadn't even thought of it till the day of. Am not sure why as It wouldn't be an empty nest, lord knows I still had 10 younger than him at home.. it was just my first I guess...

I had nearly the same reaction when my son told me he was getting married to an out of state girl. They now live 500 miles away!!

I know exactly the way you feel!!! My son just graduated on Saturday from HS and I cried the 2 days before and of course on that day. Really trying to be happy for him, BUT damn I'm going to miss him. He's going to VT, is yours going to UNH? If you would like, maybe we could get together and go out fabric shopping & lunch sometime.

Oh cheer up rest up cause your be sure prized just how much your here from them, an they all ways know the way home!
An where there is all ways open arms waiting for them.

When my daughter (my baby) went in to the Air Force, I was OK with it. I had her hubby and little one here while she was in basic in Texas. And then she went off to England for her first assignment and that was OK, too, because my mom and dad were both from Wales and England was just next door. I went to visit her several times and when we said "good bye" at the Airport each time I totally lost it. It was like, "Wow, you are really all these thousands of miles away". My SIL would always tell me he hated to see me go because I always made him cry (Dammit, Kathy, you're making me cry.). She was in Special Security Forces and that always scared me because it was in the middle of the Saudi crisis and I never knew where she'd be. Many times she was buried in a bunker somewhere. One time, I cried all the way home and the guy sitting next to me wouldn't even talk to me.

I know exactly how you feel, and I was and I'm still not a smother mother either. We have two grown children. When our daughter went off to college on '91, only 100 miles away, I cried, even though she would be liveing in a trailer in my MIL's yard. Still didn't make it any easier. When we took our son to college in '95, 500 miles away, I cried, and was more afraid for him, than our daughter, He knew absolutely NO ONE there, At least our daughter had several students that she grew up with and graduated from HS with going to the same college. It does get easier, as time goes by. I knew when I talked to him on the phone that he was really homesick. However the first time our son came home, I could hardly stand to watch him leave to go back to school. I didn't find out for several years later that our daughter was really homesick too. She was always the most independant, and I never thought she would be home sick. Both have stayed in the town where they attended college, and we get to see our daughter more often. We only get to see our son twice a year. Even now it is hard for me to watch either of them drive off and go back to their homes. I guess it is just a mother's natural feelings to want them "to spread their wings and fly, but not really leave the nest." Just hang in there you will get through it all. I would suggest lots of notes, care packages, letters and cards, more so than phone calls. All are necessary, but at least they ge mail from home. I would like to add a line that I read before our daughter went off to school. What ever you do, do not clean out his rrom and start using it for something else. Because when he comes home he will expect to go to his own room and see it just as he left it, and not feel like he no longer has a home or is a visitor in the house. Our daughter has moved most of our stuff out but still has her own room. Our son still has his room just as he left it the first time. Let him decide when you can and should use his room for something else. Just about three years ago our daughter said mom, take my room for sewing because of the size and light. I'll use your sewing room, since I'm only home for a night or two at the most. I was totally shocked, but she helped me change the rooms.

It all makes me wonder about my own Mom. She was cool as a cucumber when they dropped me off at school each time. Had to make my bed, of course, but was cheerful and chipper. Wonder how her rides home were. I'll have to ask my Dad, she passed away in 2006. My Dad did tell me recently that she had a rule that we had to go to a college at least 100 miles away. I didn't know that, but I did follow the rule.
lots2do and now off to work