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My last kid left about 24 yr.s ago, a couple had to come home for several months. All have been out for at 22 yr.s. I we have a 23 yr. old Granddaughter living with us the past 5 yr.s, not like a child of ours, a wonderful young woman. Sure wish her Mother would have been more like her.
She's a hard worker and hangs out once in a while - between jobs, not here very much, I love having her here. Afraid for her to live alone, small and very beautiful. When she is ready, I do have plans for her room. |
When my youngest moved out I was sad, but I was equally proud that I raised her to be a self sufficent young woman who could make it out on her own :wink: After all, isn't that what we do from birth? Raise them to be able to take care of themselves once they reach adulthood?
This doesn't mean that your relationship terminates...it just takes on a new turn. Like when they started school, spent the night away from home the first time, started driving... Cherish ALL of these moments...and look forward to them getting married and making you a grama one day :D:D:D |
It's not just that your son is entering a new (and more independent) phase of his life, it's that you are entering a new phase, too. Some sadness is to be expected. Not only won't he be around, not only will he need you less, it'll change your relationship forever.
The good thing is that orientation only lasts a few days, so you got a brief taste of what it's like, but then you get him back for a little while longer. You'll be that much better able to savor the experience - and your relationship with him. |
The hardest thing I did was dropping my youngest off at her collage dorm. And it was just across the river. I cried all the way home, but she had a wonderful time there. She learned lots and grew up so much. She is back home for now and working on her final degree. I can tell she is ready to move out soon. She wants her own place. When she goes I will be sad to see her go but happy for her too.
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I can't help you - I've never felt empty nest sadness. ;-)
Every step they take towards independence is one step closer to freedom for you - that's always been my motto. |
Originally Posted by Shadow Dancer
Yes it's hard, but our children are not ours...they are lent to us to raise and teach them. Sadly the day comes when they leave home to make their way in the big world... all we can do is hope for the best and be there when life teaches them the hard lessons.
Give yourself a pat on the back, you did good!! :) Thats how i feel. when my first baby got on the bus for pre-school, i think i was the only mom who didn't cry. she said to me "see you later mommy"! little miss indepentent! i was so proud! the only time i cried was when we dropped my son off to go to boot camp. and it had nothing to do with the war or whatever was going on..it was because it dawned on me, that he was a "Man" now..not my youngest child..the baby of the family was on his way to the start of his life! Oh, i gained a sewing room when they were all gone! :thumbup: ya sound normal to me! how proud you must be! i think maybe people around me think i am cold..but i am just different. i gave my kids over to Him long ago. |
Jem65 - we'll take good care of your son, here, in NH.
The flip side of this is that we've always had kids around since we've been together. DH came with two that he had custody of and then we had one more together. So, that part, the alone together part, is really exciting...since we still really enjoy each other company etc. It's true that orientation is over today. I'll have to really behave myself tonight and not ask too many pesky questions! lol Thanks again - take care, lots2do |
Originally Posted by renee765
I'm happy to tell you that you seem perfectly normal to me.
The first time I dropped my oldest child (of three) off at Pre-School, I cried. The first time I dropped my third child off at Pre-School, I smiled. The first time I dropped my first child off at college, I cried. The first time I helped my third child move into her first apartment, I smiled. These are all bittersweet moments. I was happy, yet sad, as I took all my children to their first day of school and thought that as the 4th one went, I would be all aglow....WRONG....it was so sad and I was so surprised at myself. My others all went one year apart..but my last one I had with me for one extra year..and I so missed hom. Time took care of that ...........fast !!!!!!!!!! |
When my kids left I cried but now my DS is in China his last semester of college and my DD is married with her DH in NYC. It hurt at first but then I got out the measuring tape and made the best sewing room! Time works wonders.
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I am so glad one other person said they didn't have the empty nest syndrome.Of course I only had my apartment all to myself for a few months. I was so happy to have a space all to myself I did a happy dance around my apartment every day for the first week. I would love to have a place all to myself again. Just me and my dogs.
Only now its me living with my DD not the other way around. |
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