We've been getting hounded for over a year by one particular telemarketer whose "crew" insists on talking to "the owner" and won't take "No, don't EVER call us again!" for an answer.

In fact, the more we tell them not to call, the more often they do.

Since we're a business, the "Do not call" registry doesn't help us.

So... since we can't seem to make them go away, can you help us have some fun with this? We're trying to come up with something that might drive them away while allowing us to get our laughs for the day.

Can't you tell them to only correspond with you via snail mail, that if they continue to "harrass" you, that you will sue?

Do like I did....

A company was calling my business/home and asking for a certain person. I finally got fed up, gave them the number for the county jail and said she was arrested for prostitution. They stopped calling.

Contact your phone company, maybe even the sheriff.

Good luck.

Pretend they are somebody else - like, "Oh, Shirley, it's so wonderful to hear from you! Completely ignore anything they try to say..

Make a tape recording of yourself saying, in a slow voice, This business does not require your assistance, this business doesn't require your assistance, over and over...

Pretend they are somebody else - like, "Oh, Shirley, it's so wonderful to hear from you! Completely ignore anything they try to say..

Make a tape recording of yourself saying, in a slow voice, This business does not require your assistance, this business doesn't require your assistance, over and over...

Do you have another line so that you can still get calls?

If so, just leave the phone off the hook. Put something over the mouthpiece so they can't hear what's going on at your place.

Maybe blow a police whistle in their ear. I don't know if you should warn them or not - it could damage their hearing.

Have somebody sneeze in the receiver - that would require sanitizing afterwards, though

Can you have someone do baby talk.

How about have someone gargle or sound like they are going to throw up?

Try to get as much information out of THEM as possible. How are you? How is your weather?

IF you have the time, that is.

ask for their home number and find out what would be a good time to call and ask if they want your services/goods.

My assistant did that to a yellow book ad salesperson. they stopped calling.

tell them the owner is in jail, for not paying his bills.

But really, why not just hang up once you know it is them? No explanation needed. It is your phone, after all.

OH< do I have the answer!!
One of my dear friends was getting some horrible calls from some nut who could obviously see her house, since he commented on when her teen daughter left the house. (This was before Caller Id,)

Another friend and I were visiting when she got "That" call and just stood there, she was forced to listen. So my other friend grabbed the phone and cooed at him, saying "Oh, you poor dear man, you must need Jesus in your life" and she preached at him and didn't give him time to say a thing till he hung up. She later recorded this on a little machine and gave it to our frightened friend, who played it as soon as she recognized this nut's voice. And yes, the police were called but could do little for her. But this recording did the trick, he finally got tired of calling and she wasn't bothered any more.

oh- I had the NRA call for my husband here at the office. I told her I was in charge, not him- he is not involved in my business in any way. And then I told her my stance on gun control and I don't need anyone beyond the 2nd amendment, if and when I would allow a gun on my property. The calls stopped.

(I've asked hubby for a machete and baseball bat- but that's another story)