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> If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do > I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you > And deliver some things just inside your front door > Things you have lost, but treasured before. > > I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, > And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. > Then restore the old color that once graced your hair > Before rinses and bleaches took residence there. > > I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted > So things now suspended need not be uplifted. > I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back > Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks. > > I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin > So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. > You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, > And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. > > No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes, > No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose. > Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny, > From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. > > You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take. > And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache. > Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid, > You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. > > I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle, > And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle. > But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me, > The most humble of helpers you ever did see. > > Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year. > Rec'd this in an e-mail and thought you all would enjoy it. |
Thanks for the lift. Merry Christmas to you!
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Thanks! Merry Christmas!
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Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too :D:D:D
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Thanks, Merry Christmas
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Thanks so much for sharing this! Merry Christmas to you!
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