Thought this might be a good place for everyone to share chuckles about themselves.

Today was one of those days for me. I'm always trying multi task (that was the first dumb thing I did). This morning I poured my first cup of coffee and was talking to hubby at the same time. I went into the refrigerator and grabbed a carton to pour some milk into my coffee. First sip told me that I had grabbed the orange juice carton instead. YUK.

Met a friend for lunch and showed up in my slippers and forgot to brush my hair.

Just now I grabbed the telephone to change the channel on the TV.

Hmmm - I'm afraid to use my sewing machine today.

It sounds like you should have stayed in bed this morning. Hope tomorrow is better.

Ever walk around the house hunting for your car keys only to find that they are IN YOUR HAND?

Ever walk around looking for your purse after putting groceries away, and then discover it in the refrig? Wow....I drank 2 glasses of wine after that!!

LMBO walk around the house looking for your glasses and they are on top of your head?
Looked for my keys for hours!!! they were in my back pocket....

I remember putting my wrist braces in a very logical place. A place where the velcro wouldn't get tangled, a place where they wouldn't get dusty, a place where I was sure to look next time I need them.

I needed them, and I have looked in EVERY logical and even illogical place in my house. Finally gave up and bought new braces.

They're always in the last place you look. :lol:

Of course they are always in the last place you look, for you quit looking after you found them.

I have been known to try to bake a cake. When the timer went off, I was about to take it out of the oven and it wasn't there. I looked everywhere and found it in the refrigerator. It doesn't bake very fast that way.

In infant days...ever pour your 3 a.m. coffee in the baby bottle and the formula in your coffee mug?

Oh my gosh--I'm laughing out loud over here!! See: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Here's something funny I wrote up after it happened--a few years ago.

I pride myself on how I can vault my legs high enough to get over the girls’ stall doors. (Okay I bang a knee on them now and then.) I’m rather impressed at how I can scale a tube gate with no hesitation. (Okay, so it’s not always a graceful move.) When visitors come, the adults just shake their heads when I fly over; I forget not everyone wants to do that, so I sheepishly open the gate for them. Maybe they think I should act my age? (What age?) Well, it didn’t work so flawlessly yesterday.

Jazz was going to be up front. For some reason, the usual routine of having the hay and water ready before the horses entered the pasture wasn’t followed. So, I had 3 gallons of water in a container in one hand, and a slice of hay in the other, 4 horses to wade through, and a gate to get over. I lifted the water container up and over, dropping it gently hoping it wouldn’t tip. It didn’t. (Even I am not stupid enough to try scaling with both water and hay.) Tucking the slice of hay under my arm, I climbed up and just when I had one leg over OOOOPH, the snow in the treads of my boots caused my boot to slip down the tube about a foot. OUCH! The pain was sharp for a minute, but let’s just say if I was of the opposite gender, things would have been much worse. I gathered myself, shook off the pain, and got over. Jazz got his hay and water.

But now I have to reckon with this gate again. It’d be pretty silly of me to make a second attempt, and I am not a silly woman. (Well, that is debatable.) Simply opening the gate wasn’t an option since the four girls on the other side were looking for hay and attention and I didn’t want to take a chance of a filly scooting through. So I eyed the little wooden ladder type situation to one side of the gate, put there years ago when we discovered it was possible for a horse to squeeze through. I’ll just climb up the cute little steps there. No problem. Once I mounted the first one, the never before stepped on pieces gave a little moan, so I hustled my moves so no repairs would be needed. I went up and over and OUCH! I was shocked to discover the wooden post was now inside my barn coat, and I was hanging there like a scarecrow, with my toes barely touching the ground. Pain was shooting up my tailbone. Visions of naughty school children being hung on a nail in a classroom passed through my head. I wanted to holler for help, but rethought that; did I really want anyone to see me in this predicament?? Besides, there was no one to hear my calls. Everyone was somewhere else. Finally, I realized I was able to lift the back of my jacket up and over the post, setting me free to walk off the pain. Once the pain had diminished, I laughed all through chores, just picturing myself in such a ridiculous situation. Later, when I was thinking about it, I decided next time (okay, I really hope there isn’t one, but one never knows) just unbuttoning my coat will free me fast too. See, I’m always thinking.

OH MY!! I'm not laughing Karla, honest I'm not, but I have a HUGE grin on my face. I can just imagine what the horses were saying.....silly human! Did she REALLY think she was Superwoman? We could have told her that wasn't going to work, but it was fun letting her figure it out for herself. lol

Ok, Terri wasn't laughing, but I sure was!!
I've gotten hooked by my winter jacket too, can't remember what the situation was though. I just unzipped my coat and slipped out, but it was embarrassing!

I can't think of anything REALLY dumb right now, you know other than the typical blonde moments where I put the cookies in the fridge, and the milk in the microwave.

Okay--here's another for your giggling pleasure:

Sometimes a horse will back right up to the 2x4s that make the back stall walls to poop--and some will go behind the wall. ( I know, I know, you're happy this isn't a problem in your world :lol: ) So, while cleaning stalls one morning during mare stare (that's when I get no more than 15 min in a row all night) I reached the muck fork behind the wall to push the little apples under the bottom board into the stall so I could clean them up. Well--every time I pushed--they rolled back. I tried again--same thing. One more time? Same thing. It didn't make sense they would bounce back! :? So, I finally glanced down to see what was in the way. I discovered the problem--it was my boot. I was too tired to realize I was standing in the way of making any progress. I laughed, moved my boot, and got the job done. Sometimes one must laugh--there are no other options. :roll:

While I was at work the other day I was putting supplies away in the kitchenette and got a call on my phone from a co-worker. I let her know where I was and would be back downstairs shortly. After I got downstairs I couldn't find my work phone. I had left my phone in the fridge upstairs. Imagine everyone's surprise when the fridge started ringing. Oh well, just one of those days.

OK, it's going to be hard to top hanging yourself from a fence, but I've got a couple of items for you.

Back in the baby days, I was blessed with a baby that never slept more than 2 hours at a time. By the time she was six months old, I had become a sleep deprived idiot. So one day (or night, who can tell at that point?) I wake up to incredible screaming. This kid was obviously ticked off. When I get to her room, I look down and see that she is COVERED in p##p. I'm thinking she must have some sort of a tummy issue so I pick her up and head toward the tub. When I strip her down, I find out she is not wearing a diaper at all. I'm guessing I forgot a step in the process the time before when I got up with her.

This one is my Aunt's stupid moment. (Refer to the "Redneck" thread for reference to said Aunt) Before they got indoor plumbing (1979) she cozied up to the woodstove before heading to the outhouse. This aunt has always been a fancy pants kind of lady so her outhouse had a real toilet seat instead of just a plain wooden hole. (It was also a two holer with a tall hole and a short hole. See how uppity she is?) Anyway, after getting her behind all sweaty warm on the woodstove and then setting on the cold plastic toilet seat, she froze to it! Just like licking a flag pole! She yelled for help and the entire family went out to see what was up. The poor woman is still teased at every family gathering.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'd say your stories are right up there with a fence post incident, Lisa!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The other night I walked out of the office and said "now where did I put my beer" After DH had laughed his head off he looked down at my hand and there it was. Boy did I feel like an idiot, and the worse thing was it was my first drink and I had only had a few sips. :oops:

Wow! Austrailian beer must be powerful stuff!! :D

Well, i had to stop and hold my sides 1/2 way thru the diaper story. poor lady.

Well, there was a period where my mom did not have garbage service for various reasons. We took turns taking care of her garbage with our own. Well, I picked her up for a family outing and put her garbage in my trunk. A few days later, my car started to have a faint smell....! Thankfully it was springtime and not hot August LOL

A few years ago I took my three youngest children to a Halloween party at a large hotel. The kids quickly got too hot in their fleece dalmatian costumes, so they stripped down to their regular clothes. When we left, I carried a very large and heavy armful of costumes, pumpkins, and gift bags out to the van. My youngest lost his balloon, so we went back in for a second one. That was when the unthinkable happened. My baby disappeared! I was chasing down my two oldest, while frantically scanning the room for my toddler. I tried calling to the older ones to stop, but they didn't seem to want to listen. Finally I shouted to them, "Come back! Your brother is missing!!!" My oldest daughter looked back at me, somewhat puzzled. "But Mom," she said. "You're holding him." Sure enough, the bundle in my arms this time was my two year old son, who was so intent on holding his balloon, he was completely oblivious to my panic. You've got to love being a mom!

OK, I think Bucket just won the prize. Losing a beer in your hand or glasses on your head can't compare to loosing a kid in your arms. LMBO!

That is the greatest. So funny. You win hands down.

Last year while babysitting my grandchildren, was baking cookies and decided to run out and feed the horses before it started to snow. Shut the door behind me, fed the horses and went to go back in the house. Of course the door was locked and I had no key. Had to cut the screen off the bathroom window using a 6 foot ladder, then had to step into the bathroom off the ladder steps. Got one leg inside the window but couldn't bring the other leg inside because I was at such an odd angle! Finally got inside and was so mad at myself. I'm too old to be doing gymnastics. Now when I'm at their house, I wear the housekey around my neck!!!

YES!!!!!

Karla hilarious!!! I've caught my jacket before. I did slip my arms out! Oh course after all you went through, I can see why you didn't think of that.

One day last summer when I was watching my great niece and nephew, I rushed out to my car to get my coffee before their Nana left. I got my coffee, pushed the latch on the door, closed it, started to go and realized I couldn't go. A split second later I realized my thumb was in the door. I thought of yelling to Mary for help, but figured it would take longer than unlocking the door myself. Of course once you release the pressure you get hit with the the pain. My thumb was instantly black and swollen. This was in early Julyl and my thumb nail is now almost grown out to normal. Funny thing is I am normally very careful about car doors because when I was a kid, I accidently shut a toddler's finger in the car door.

well, one of the hee hee...smarter things you did, was to give me a laugh. You showed up in slippers and forgot to brush your hair...now that's a visual. I am leaving in a few minutes...think I'll change out of this gown, and be sure to look in the mirror! Thanks for reminding me.
It barely covers my behind! :lol:

After years and years of stupid dreams about being out in public in my pajamas I was very careful NOT to do anything so dumb. I was working as a Realtor in a high end office and one day after rushing my three children to school (all under 10) and jumping into the office to do a closing on a big sale.. I am sitting at the table and my client looks up at me and giggles.. ok.. I shrug.. like ok? what? she then kindly points down to my feet. Two completely different flat shoes on one black one blue one with a buckle one without. I wanted to crawl under the table. I said I was making a fashion statement. We both laughed but I couldnt wait to get home and crawl into my hole. So much for being professional.

Yesterday was my biggest dumb thing involving quilting. Friday evening I loaded a quilt for my granddaughter onto the frame to quilt. I noticed the bobbin was still in the machine which means it hadn't been oiled after the last use. I pulled the machine to the side again, as I had it positioned to start when I noticed this, oiled the machine and left it for the night.

Saturday, I loaded the bobbin, positioned the machine and started to quilt. I got to the end of the first row, undid the strap on one side and then the other. The strap (a strip of fabric) on the last side didn't fall down. It was stitched to the back of the quilt!!! I didn't notice that when I moved the machine over it took the loose end of the strip with it and why would I, it's never happpened before! Good grief!!! Out go those stitches!

I was making a table runner and binding for the first time. I realized I had sewn the binding onto the wrong side. I ripped out the stitches and resewed it....again to the wrong side...ripped it out again and after a few stitches, yep I had started it wrong again :roll: I almost gave up quilting at that point LMBO

When paper piecing, I have had to rip the same piece out three times because I kept sewing it down so it was wrong side up! First time, I was mildly upset; the second time, I was ticked off at myself, the third time, I got it ripped out,I was very upset. I did not try to resew it then. Waited until the next day, and nailed it!

Hooray!!! for persistence!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Last nite I was rotary cutting some quilting tubes. Should have been in bed, but, hey!

So, I place my hand around the handle, push down with the index finger, and push forward.

You guessed it- pushed right down on the blade as it was beginning to move and whamo-sliced my finger. Funny thing is, it didn't hurt as much as today when my needle got upsidedown doing some hexagons. Went into the pad on my middle finger. Ouchee! Man that hurt!

My dumbest stuff doesn't happen in sew cave. It's either something I misconstrued as a child and have always thought, or it is something I do while driving :shock:
Once when hubby had to work on Easter, I thought, ok, kids love going to grandma's and just bc daddy has to work, no reason I can't drive them there, right?
Hubby always worried when I got behind the wheel and went more than 10 miles.
Ok, so I'm obeying all the traffic rules, speed limits, things are looking very familiar and we are making good time...and then I see the town's water tower, yup, with it's name on it...I was so pleased...until I realized...it was SIL's town, not inlaws!!!!
I had put my brain on autopilot and just went my merry way...to the wrong town. Didn't know how to get to inlaws from there, so had to call and 'confess', so they could give me directions.
The only phone booth I could find was at some out of the way place, and we saw a limo drive up and a hooker get out. Man, I couldn't wait to get where I was going! :shock: