i think another variable in gift giving is value. I can take $10 in supplies and make a very nice gift - something with a 'perceived' value of a lot more than $10. But if I get a $10 gift card in return, does that make a $10 exchange even?

I'd much rather be given a gift for no reason, than one out of obligation. Yep, there's a BIG difference! :)

I have to admit that I am not a good recipient. I don't want for much and get what I want for myself. I had an agreement with a good friend who does not live close that we wouldn't exchange any more. She is in the same position as me. Never fails, she sends me something for my birthday (this year a subscription to a quilting magazine I would never get for myself, not interesting to me). I go through every year, please let's stop. Okay. Then she doesn't. I try and be gracious, write a thank you, tell her thank you, then wait a while and say let's stop. Okay. Repeat. And, I don't understand exchanging gift cards. We give special things to the grandchildren, and nieces, but as the nieces have gotten older it has been $ but, a small amount and that will stop when they graduate college. They all send nice thank you notes. Anyway, I guess I am a curmudgeon on this count.

I totally understand and agree with what Bearisgray is saying. I knew a guy who would give his mom $500 cash for Christmas. She had plenty of money already. What is the point?

"Here is some cash, it proves I love you." ???????

Or two people buy the same item - one pays full price - the other buys it on clearance for 1/4 the price - which value is the " correct" value for the item?

our family buys for the kids under 12. we don't have much money so the older kids get made items; quilts or woodworked things. the adults all understand and hold to the "no gifts" agreement. usually the teens get gift cards from a few aunts "on the sly" haha. but, no exchanges. we figure-why bother. I spend $20.00 on you and you spend $20.00 on me. we don't bother. would rather have the money for our kids or a good family meal together or spend it on gas to visit the kids who live out of state.

I have been in two great exchanges here that have resulted in two very beautiful quilts that hang on my walls. One is from an exchange that was make what you want, but agree ahead of time which I recieved a gorgeous burgundy and celery colored quilt that hangs in my dining room because the colors were a perfect match to the decor, and the other was a "quilts for quilters" exchange that I recieved the prettiest butterfly quilt in, that hangs in my sewing/family room. I love the exchanges here.
My family, years ago, decided that fun Christmas cards are enough remembrance to each other, instead of gifts, and no hurt feelings. I would rather be remembered in a card, on the phone, or online, than receive a gift someone thought I might like, and have less than a 50/50 chance of something I can really use. Who needs that kind of pressure?
Having said all of that, I will continue to be in the secret Santa exchange because I like the idea having a 'mostly stranger' find something from a 'mostly stranger' as a gift that is random, craft specific, and knowing that anything 'quilty' will get used or passed on. (I should also mention that being able to visit on the board and tease and amuse each other was a blast!)

Absolutely! Take that $10 and buy more "supplies", next year, it costs you nothing.

We stopped exchanging gifts in our family many years ago. We are all "seniors" and really don't need to exchange gifts. Mostly, we are trying to get rid of things we no longer want. :D
It took some effort, but I finally managed to convince my friends that we didn't need to exchange gifts. Instead, we try to set aside some time to go out together for a nice dinner or lunch and, if there is something special going on, maybe a play or at least a movie we all want to see.
The only children in this mix are the youngsters of a nephew of mine. They are out of state and I don't see them often. I send them a check at Christmas with the hope they will do something special with the kids.

I don't mind gift exchanges as long as the gifts are "real" gifts. I joined a golf league this year and the members had a white elephant gift exchange for Christmas. I didn't know that white elephant means you re-gift something you have at home that you don't want so I purchased a gift. I won't bore you by telling you what I got in exchange, but it was something obviously old and used. Now that I know the rules of the game, I should probably wrap it up for the next gift exchange, but I really hate holding on to it for another year.