An old acquaintance of mine used to foster many "problem" children, typically teenagers, all of them with a full set of "baggage". She would begin by providing all of their needs. If the kids screwed up, she started removing 'things', and the kids would have to work even harder to earn the things back. She didn't bother with removing things like Nintendo, telephone time, or money for the movies. She removed things like pillows & bed clothes, underwear (they'd have to wash the one pair they were wearing every night until they earned the rest back), alarm clocks (but they were still expected to keep to a schedule, and if they were late for school - another item got removed), etc. One kid went so far to have all of his clothing (except what he was wearing) and his whole bed removed before the light bulb came on. She always stuck to her guns with those kids, which is exactly what they needed. I don't think any of them left her house without learning respect and responsibility - two things most of them never had.

She was my hero.

No. I was not one of her children :)